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Armadillo Dick

When one’s penis ascends into the body of the owner for fear of female gym bro crushing the family jewels.
Man 1: “I have a date tonight and there’s no way I’m going to be able to perform”
Man 2: “Why not?”
Man 1: “Bro, she’s a wrestler and I’m afraid I’m going to get armadillo dick.”

David Bowie's Armadillo 

A obscure sexual move popularized by repeated viewings of the 1986 film "Labyrinth". It entails dressing up as David Bowie's character Jareth, from the film, and attaching brown dildos (length must exceed 7 inches but be no longer than 13) to the articulatio radiocarpea of both arms. While penetrating both the anus and vagina, "Jareth" must sing "Magic Dance" with the receiving partner singing the goblins' parts. If available, cocaine (slime and snails or puppy dogs' tails are popular substitutes) should be snorted off the lower back of the receiver. This second act is, of course, referred to as a "Lady Stardust".
Nathan: Hey what'd you get Aniston for her birthday?

Aaron: Got her David Bowie's Armadillo and some Lady Stardust bro.

Nathan: Damn that's nasty as fuck my man!

Aaron: Stardust is a hell of a drug.

Dusty Armadillo 

A dusty armadillo is performed by having doggy style sex (vaginal or anal) and, at the crescendo of the performance, dump some talcum powder on the girl's head and call out, "Dusty Armadillo," and punch her in the back of the head.
"Man, I was plowing away on that girl and gave her a dusty armadillo. I couldn't see for like ten minutes, that shit went everywhere"

Dancin' Armadillo 

After sex when the female falls asleep, shave her head bald and masterbate, ejaculating all over her bald head. Then shave off your pubic hair and stick it on her head with the man glue. Inspired by the great Cody Ward.
Janey seems awfully upset about that odd new haircut

thats no haircut! thats a dancin' armadillo!
Dancin' Armadillo by D.J. Tanner September 14, 2005

Digging armadillo 

When you put her in between the mattresses and stick it in her ass. And she starts digging.
I put her in the digging armadillo last night.
Digging armadillo by jandbforever December 10, 2021

dirty armadillo 

When you finish unprotected anal sex and then the receiver performs oral sex directly after withdrawing from the rectum.
Man, I can’t believe Karen gave me a dirty armadillo after I fucked the shit out of her ass!