Alphalpha Male

An extremely rare mutation of the more commonly known Alpha male. The Alphapha male is named after the dorky Little Rascals character -- and plainly put: he is an overpowered Alpha male. He exhibits unfounded excessive confidence, yet dresses like he is still in the 2nd grade. Has a Buzz Lightyear backpack, but the effect on his peers is paradoxical -- he is so Chadlike he can make pocket protectors sexy. His hairstyle changes depending upon the whims of his cowlick(s).... you get the idea. Extremely inadequate social skills, & an almost non-existent ability to talk to women -- yet for some reason, every girl throws herself at him deploying every strategy under the sun to get into his riverwader awkwardly fitted late 90s denim. He emits pharamones that women notice immediately, turning them into wolverines all fighting to burrow down and gobble his musky treasures. As luck would have it, he's 9 times out of 10 either just too cool or too oblivious to notice.

Oftentimes the persona is a total facade that he weaponizes efficiently to reap maximum benefits - at any given time in the school year he is practically swimming in pussy.

"Well gee, Susan, is the sex good? It's gotta be right?"
"Yeah. He has his.... quirks. He sprays his eyeglasses with this steam/fog proof spray stuff so he can still see, and has a little chain so they can't slip off. You get used to it."
"Ohmygawd that's fucking HAWT actually. Total Alphalpha male energy."

Alphalpha Male by AorticKamikaze April 11, 2024