A Jeff Sessions
1) Inability to recall, remember, or recollect participation in events, the parties involved, or topics discussed during said events when confronted by a third-party.
2) Commonly used but very Robust Legal Defense when caught in an incriminating situation or possibly lying - most commonly used in lieu of "pleading the Fifth". Legal experts have concluded this defense to be unbeatable when challenged.
3) A Widespread Contagious Epidemic Medical Condition affecting a person's memory - not unlike dementia but more selective and insidious. Commonly exhibited symptoms are the patient's repetitive insistence using words and phrases like:
" I don't recall....."
" I don't remember...."
" I do not recollect...."
" I can't recall...."
" I forget...."
However, because there are multiple derivations of these statements, an accurate diagnosis should only be conducted by a trained Medical Professional Politician. Currently, Electro-shock and medically induced coma appear to be the only available treatments. There is no known cure available at this time. Because of the extreme contagious nature of this illness, humane euthanasia is often the only alternative for certain cases.
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2) Commonly used but very Robust Legal Defense when caught in an incriminating situation or possibly lying - most commonly used in lieu of "pleading the Fifth". Legal experts have concluded this defense to be unbeatable when challenged.
3) A Widespread Contagious Epidemic Medical Condition affecting a person's memory - not unlike dementia but more selective and insidious. Commonly exhibited symptoms are the patient's repetitive insistence using words and phrases like:
" I don't recall....."
" I don't remember...."
" I do not recollect...."
" I can't recall...."
" I forget...."
However, because there are multiple derivations of these statements, an accurate diagnosis should only be conducted by a trained Medical Professional Politician. Currently, Electro-shock and medically induced coma appear to be the only available treatments. There is no known cure available at this time. Because of the extreme contagious nature of this illness, humane euthanasia is often the only alternative for certain cases.
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1) I had to pull a Jeff Sessions when my girlfriend asked me if I had sex with her sister.
2) I pled a Jeff Sessions when my boss asked me what happened to the report he requested.
3) It's not looking good. Our pastor admitted to having sex with a hooker, then he suffered a Jeff Sessions when confronted by the congregation
2) I pled a Jeff Sessions when my boss asked me what happened to the report he requested.
3) It's not looking good. Our pastor admitted to having sex with a hooker, then he suffered a Jeff Sessions when confronted by the congregation
A Jeff Sessions by rumpel4skn January 25, 2018
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