Wall Street Exec 1: "Why does it look like $hillary Clinton put on 35 pounds?"

Exec #2: "Because Citibank just hired her for a speaking engagement, and when she was done they stuffed her $675,000 fee down her goddamn pants suit. You should have seen it! The $hill' finished it off with her classic 'Cut it out!' line and it brought the house down! A couple guys who had too much to drink laughed so hard they peed their fuckin' pants! One of them even bought her pants right off her because his pants were drenched . Christ he was dancin' around the room in them and pretend g he was The $hill'!! Fortunately she had a spare back pants suit with her and put it on which is good because that thong she was wearing was funny and shit but it didn't do it for me."

Exec 1: "You know I'm having a party in two weeks, do you think I could book her?"

Exec 2: "Yeah! She'll do anything for a buck. So will her husband. Get both of them. Then you can get the comedy stylings of $hbillary!"

I've been jabbed