masturbation

The act of 'touching' oneself in order to feel 'pleasure'. Something only done by the very lonely and desperate. One of the least attractive things one can possibly do.

Guy: Hey. I tried to work on my masturbation problem.... I couldn't resist the urges.

Girl: -gags and resists puking- ehhhhh.... you must be so lonely. No wonder you can't get a friggin girlfriend.

Guy: Dammit

by lilcurlytopUSA March 30, 2010

Pitcher Masturbation

verb; the act of males masturbating

Most teenage boys perform pitcher masturbation

by gaybuddy42 February 18, 2011

Profuse Masturbation

A common term for excessive masturbation in one sitting, resulting in the penis becoming thickly calloused and shaped like a half used colgate tube. The activity is also used as a motivational/teamwork exercise in some lines of work... i.e. Computer programming and I.T.

-"Hey man, did you go to the seminar yesterday on profuse masturbation?"
-"I couldn't make it in to the office, so I just set up a laptop and used the WiFi in Starbucks."

by Sandy Highman, PHD. July 1, 2011

friend masturbating at my house

A fucking faggot masturbating at my house

My 'friend masturbating at my house' and lets me know

by breadhasnotaste January 16, 2017

masturbation

Gods Gift for those who are ugly and never get laid to jerk off their desires

god:oh this ugly guy needs some pleasure let me create a tool
called masturbation to make him pleasure himself and feel what
it will be like to have sex

by chin345 December 4, 2007

masturbation

When a chick is sooo bad at the art of fucking that it's like masturbating while working out abs.
This intriguing phenomenon may also occur if she looks like a fish and smells like one too!

Me: Shit man! That cunt faced bitch was such a gimp! Felt like masturbation last night!

My friend: Duude! Kill her I say!

by Ultra-Ex August 5, 2008

Masturbation

A sin that offends God

My son had masturbation today and now he worries me because he offended Jesus Christ My God.

by Ghosthunter7444 July 26, 2016