Masturbation Technician

Someone whose job it is to jerk people off for medical reasons

When I grow up I want to be a masturbation technician

by Bigdickpreston September 20, 2016

Masturbate FUCKER

1. To touch your gay's dick!

2. You do it when you are fucking with your gay's penis (like licking his big fuckin' dick) or watching some fucking porn with a man sticking his penis out on top of the Two World Trade Centre in New Yolk City.

1. My fucking gay: Am I masturbating?

Me: Shut your fuck mouth or I'll EAT YOUR DICK! Masturbate Fucker!

2. Let's just Masturbate FUCKER around in this stupid mall!

by I'll eat you March 29, 2021

masturbating on the run

When a tardy individual is getting dressed on their way to where they're going.

Masturbating on the run is to get dressed on your way to the destination

Marge: Hurry up and get dressed we're gonna be late!
Rob: Fuck it, I'll just masturbate on the run let's just go.

I'm not one to masturbate on the run but I can't miss my grandmas funeral.

by Xtra3916 July 4, 2022

whistling masturbator

A human who whistles while masturbating.

Here comes that whistling masturbator again--better get the umbrella.

by Ernest Peabody August 6, 2006

Mental Masturbation

The term coined by the promising new hope of psychology. Christopher, the surefire future of psychological theory, defines this term as the psychosexual pleasure that one receives from playing mind games with others. Christopher is a godsend to psychology.

I am, however, at the point in my life where I do not need to subject myself to the “mental masturbation” which envelopes your games.

by Sigmund Hylkema January 9, 2008

Critical Masturbation

1. What happens when you get two or more bicycle enthusiasts in a room. Typical topics of conversation include: How much their bikes/components/spandex bodysuits cost; How cyclists get no respect from motor vehicles, which they totally deserve and ought to fight for, even though the usual rules of the road--like stoplights, crosswalks, and one-way streets--obviously don't apply to bicycles; and What brand of toe clip/leg wax/douchenozzle is appropriate for race day?

2. The world's largest monthly circlejerk.

CABBIE: Sorry sir, it looks like we have a delay.
PASSENGER: Can't we go around?
CABBIE: Nope, they got the whole road shut down. Looks like some kind of douche pride parade.
PASSENGER: Oh, it's that time of the month: Critical Masturbation.

by Harry Bergdorf May 3, 2010

mental masturbation

v. the act of masturbating with and only with your mind, totally not sexy

Oh man, performed some mental masturbation last night releasing mind bullets on my couch

by MattyN February 11, 2006