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Garden turtle

A bloke who sucks himself off watching wetsuits dry on the clothesline
by Uncy Joe April 18, 2018
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Jon's Turtle

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise
Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"
by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012
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Homosexual Turtle

A college-aged, Caucasian male individual with an overtly long neck and deep-throating skills made for sucking dick. He has yet to come out of his shell completely.
Taylor: You should go out with Blake M...
Me: I can’t, you know he’s a Homosexual Turtle!
by Trumpette.xxx May 6, 2021
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feared the turtle

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.
Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.
by Wangus Maximuz May 14, 2011
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piss turtle

Surprise moment when a guy is pissing ( after having to hold it for an extremely long time ) and at the height of the stream he has an urge to shit. The brown turtle head wants out. Now begins the coordinated effort in continuing to piss while keeping from shitting yourself.
Dude I was at a wedding and after about the fifth toast I was about to piss myself. I got to the bathroom and out of now where I had a piss turtle situation on my hands.
by Irish don June 26, 2014
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Turtle Shock

When you fuck your girl turtle style and she can't walk for 24 Hours
by LAGOUT July 20, 2019
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turtle blaster

The act of an individual stuffing green and black jellybeans up their arse, followed by squatting down and pushing them out. The action resembles Turtles being blasted out of their bum.
-“Yo bro, I saw Alex the other day doing a Turtle Blaster..“
-“No way, with the green and black jellybeans?”
-“Yea”
by JellyBeanBlasterAlex April 13, 2020
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