Split Second Splits

Doing the splits quickly and unexpectedly; without warning

(On the ski slope)

Ragnar: Woa, I hate skis!

Nathan: Now why would you say that?

Ragnar: I just did the split second splits!

by erzebet333 July 25, 2010

Split the Wood

When two girls, often friends, agree to engage in a threesome with a man. This mans' "wood" or penis is being "split"

Sally: I want to fuck Joe.
Sue: Me too!
Sally: We could "Split the Wood"

by C&M Definitions May 21, 2013

Split Screen Reality Wank

When you have a wank over someone you know who looks like an actress in a porn film. You split your screen to show the woman you know on one side of the screen (perhaps a Facebook photo) and the porn video with actress who looks like her on the opposite side.

Brian: "You coming down the pub mate?"
John: "Nah, having a split screen reality wank mate."
Brian: "What's that?"
John: "Found a pornstar that looks like your sister mate, will load that up while looking at your sisters profile picture."
Brian: "You're a sick fuck mate."

by Jimmy Peters August 5, 2016

split bisexual

Someone whose sexual and romantic orientation don't match. For example, the person may be sexually attracted to men and romantically attracted to women, or sexually attracted to women and romantically attracted to both sexes, or any combination as long as they're different from each other.

I like the idea of monogamy, but being a split bisexual, it doesn't really seem feasible for me.

by Thunderbro June 4, 2017

split toast

Eating food out of a vagina or butthole during brunch hours.

I went to my girlfriends to split toast yesterday.

by Mr. Ssssmith January 1, 2018

Split knuckle

A Vagina that you can clearly tell has been used to store drugs. Most commonly crack-cocaine

Yo man you can see that girls got split knuckle. I bet she’s had hella drugs in that cooch

by The Baby Whale January 25, 2019

split pea poop

When you have diarrhea and before you can flush you puke in the bowl to make a fresh batch of split pea poop.

My friend Jake repeatedly cooked a leftover lasagna multiple times in the oven which left him looking at the wrong side of a serving of split pea poop.

by Hunnysmax February 6, 2019