Animal Masturbation

The act of masturbating an animal by me nigga.

Take this you stupid cat. This is how you Animal Masturbation

by haha yeah man that shits funny January 2, 2020

Masturbate FUCKER

1. To touch your gay's dick!

2. You do it when you are fucking with your gay's penis (like licking his big fuckin' dick) or watching some fucking porn with a man sticking his penis out on top of the Two World Trade Centre in New Yolk City.

1. My fucking gay: Am I masturbating?

Me: Shut your fuck mouth or I'll EAT YOUR DICK! Masturbate Fucker!

2. Let's just Masturbate FUCKER around in this stupid mall!

by I'll eat you March 29, 2021

Masturbation Technician

Someone whose job it is to jerk people off for medical reasons

When I grow up I want to be a masturbation technician

by Bigdickpreston September 20, 2016

Panic Masturbation

The act of masturbation right before an impending tragedy or catastrophic event. Leads to a brisk and usually unsatisfying climax.

Ryan: did you hear about the new findings in flight 97 black box?
Kevin: nah man
Ryan: apparently several passengers broke out in a furious panic masturbation session during the nosedive

Kevin: how were the climaxes?
Ryan: brisk and usually unsatisfying

by Ryan McKevin July 24, 2013

Masturbation fodder

A material that has no other uses except to aid in masturbation.

Look at that picture of a woman's body in a skimpy bikini! I believe I've discovered new masturbation fodder!

by sluttytawny March 19, 2023

Mental Masturbation

Manipulating usually flirtatiously yet without doing any actual sexual acts in order to get what you want.

AKA: ‘Hoeing without using your holes’

Just send a pretty girl to go scoop up that check. He won’t tell her no...
#mental masturbation

by FreakyFelonFriday February 6, 2021

masturbating on the run

When a tardy individual is getting dressed on their way to where they're going.

Masturbating on the run is to get dressed on your way to the destination

Marge: Hurry up and get dressed we're gonna be late!
Rob: Fuck it, I'll just masturbate on the run let's just go.

I'm not one to masturbate on the run but I can't miss my grandmas funeral.

by Xtra3916 July 4, 2022