Skip to main content

The Masturbation Nation

ME: I really like your shirt. Thats Jade on it, are you a fan?
Y/N: Yess! I am part of the masturbation nation
by DarkLarrie28 August 8, 2022
mugGet the The Masturbation Nationmug.

Mental Masturbation

Manipulating usually flirtatiously yet without doing any actual sexual acts in order to get what you want.

AKA: ‘Hoeing without using your holes’
Just send a pretty girl to go scoop up that check. He won’t tell her no...
#mental masturbation
by FreakyFelonFriday February 6, 2021
mugGet the Mental Masturbationmug.

masturbation addict

the guy that decides to announce when he 's gonna watch hentai, and no one cares because he is arab mantas kid AAAAA
this masturbation addict is so weird he just cums every minute
by Kattini April 19, 2022
mugGet the masturbation addictmug.

Spiritual Masturbation

When an individual subscribing to a particular religion boasts about their good deeds, charitable donations, and seeming-selfless acts in an attempt to be recognised as a more “god-like” person, or “doing god’s work”. Sometimes at the expense of embarrassment and humiliation to the recipient of the giver’s self-serving “generosity”.

Could be Similar and related to “virtue signaling” “white savior complex”
Examples of Occurrence:
“Yah so I was in Costa Rica setting up these churches to provide food to starving children and….
Did I tell you that I bought a house for John? Man he just really needs a hand-up right now and I’m blessed to be the hands and feet of Jesus… His drug addiction has just really flipped his life upside down.”

“We mobilised like 20 people to get her moved

In with a new baby crib and kids stuff that same weekend. Her boyfriend beats on her and she got pregnant really young so has been living hand-to-fist. We invited her to church Sunday!”

Every time I meet with that guy, he just spiritually masturbates the entire time. Never shuts up about all the good deeds he does for down-and-outs. Really personal information too.

It seems like everyone from that church is addicted to spiritual masturbation.
by PerMyLastEmail April 22, 2022
mugGet the Spiritual Masturbationmug.

Retroactive masturbation

The act of masturbating to a girl (or guy) from your past who at one point was extremely attractive but is no longer due to aging or weight gain. The masturbator would then jerk off to a mental image of how the once attractive girl looked in the past (retroactively) rather than how she looks currently. This occurs quite often when thinking about aging female celebrities who at point were major sex symbols.

Similar to "nostalgia wank".
Rick: Yo man, did you see Chloë at our ten year high school reunion?

Matt: Yea, brah. She got fat. Fuckin' shame, she used to be sooooo hot.

Rick: I know right? I'm gonna find an old yearbook and beat off to the way she used to look in high school.

Matt: Good ol' retroactive masturbation! Ya know, for a quicker yank, you could just scroll backwards through her Facebook profile photos.
by jodielover81 October 4, 2018
mugGet the Retroactive masturbationmug.

Panic Masturbation

The act of masturbation right before an impending tragedy or catastrophic event. Leads to a brisk and usually unsatisfying climax.
Ryan: did you hear about the new findings in flight 97 black box?
Kevin: nah man
Ryan: apparently several passengers broke out in a furious panic masturbation session during the nosedive

Kevin: how were the climaxes?
Ryan: brisk and usually unsatisfying
by Ryan McKevin July 24, 2013
mugGet the Panic Masturbationmug.

Masturbation fodder

A material that has no other uses except to aid in masturbation.
Look at that picture of a woman's body in a skimpy bikini! I believe I've discovered new masturbation fodder!
by sluttytawny March 19, 2023
mugGet the Masturbation foddermug.

Share this definition