Philosophical Wank

When you're wanking using just your mental recollections and you begin asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life, culminating in a more fulfilling view of the universe and life as you bust a nut.

"I just had a philosophical wank and suddenly I see things much clearer"

by Socratesticles July 16, 2020

Revision Wank

When you're revising surface anatomy and you see boobs which causes you to go on porn and wank.

"I had to revise last night but it just led to a revision wank"

by superdude3435 May 11, 2010

Angry wank

To completely explode and spew ones anger in the face of an unwitting person

Charisma had an angry wank when Judy commented on the redness of her hair after she had accidently dyed it that colour.

by 1 Toy Maker June 3, 2018

Shame wank

When you wank for so long and you have used up all your acceptable wank fantasies. You must then journey to the dark side of the wank, which is full of all the good looking people just too young to go out with in school.

Oh shit, there goes my last valid wank fantasy. I should stop before this turns into a shame wank.

by ShammyDooWop August 23, 2016

Lang Wank

A method of masturbation whereby the masturbator uses a traditional one-hand grip on the penis, while inserting the thumb from his other hand up his anus. Due to the slightly uncomfortable positioning, this practice can mean the participant takes a "long"time to complete the wank to satisfaction.

This method was apparently first seen performed in Scotland and in recognition of this, the Scottish word for Long, "Lang" is used.

I just had a lang wank, but boy, my arse is a little tender now and I can no longer bring myself to smell my thumb.

by The Artful Fudger December 13, 2010

Wank in the Bush

When you have an awkward boner and cannot keep it in your pants any longer and there isn't a bathroom near by, so you whip it out and pretend you're taking a piss but secretly wank in the bush.

Dan: "Liam mate are you having a wank in the bush?"
Liam: "Na mate just taking a piss, being holding it in all day!"

by professor oi oi July 29, 2016

Wog Wanking

Wog wanking is the term of an overly Australian man or woman masturbating furiously over morally heartbreaking things.

Oi cunt, what'd you do last night?

Oh I was just Wog Wanking.

Mate, you need to fucking stop.

by Undeniably Fucked Up October 10, 2016