Fat Wank

When one eats a large quantity of food and proceeds to masturbate immediately afterwards.

"Great night last night, got in and ordered £60 worth of Chinese food and had a fat wank"

by RHUL Penrose January 21, 2019

Wank Shuffle

Imagining an object of desire during masturbation and then deciding to switch focus on a different source of inspiration. E.g An ex-girlfriend gets replaced in imagery for the office hottie. Beware to not allow an image of a grotty rotter in while locking on

I can't dedicate this one to one woman, I'll put a few on wank shuffle

by Nested Elevator January 6, 2018

Freedom Wank

When a relationship is dead & buried, release those feelings of sadness & heart break...
Knock out a freedom wank & celebrate a new chapter, the return to single, the return to FREEDOMMMMM!!!

Note: Think of someone hotter than your ex.

Guy 1: Dude, are you o.k? You were totally depressed about splitting up with your ex.

Gut 2: Man I'm cool! I knocked out a Freedom Wank & now I am FRRREEEEeeee! Yeeee haaaaa!

by Fake_SJB October 15, 2010

Beast wank

The act of spaffing into a carrier bag, 6 or 7 times a day. Usually performed by a spaff beast.

Craig, you spaff beast. Stop having a beast wank into that Sainsbury's bag for life and come for a beer.

by RossMcC March 30, 2011

Shit wank

Shit Wank is an Australian record label who specialize in esoteric music genres, including speedcore, terrorcore, chiptune, shitcore, noise, horrorcore, and breakcore. They are more predominately known for making harsh music with highly suggestive and nsfw album art and extremely innapropriate and vulgar lyrics, resulting in an 18+ only website fo their label.

Some of the artist on this label include Passenger of Shit (who is the founder of ShitWank), Shitting Whore, Dj California Crisis, Ethereal Girl, Hitler Buttsecks, and Suicide Rap Orgy.

Have you listened to the new albums released by Shit Wank?

No, I dont listen to them. I'd prefer to keep my ear drums

by EdgyDabs420 January 2, 2018

Philosophical Wank

When you're wanking using just your mental recollections and you begin asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life, culminating in a more fulfilling view of the universe and life as you bust a nut.

"I just had a philosophical wank and suddenly I see things much clearer"

by Socratesticles July 16, 2020

Post-wank

When you keep jacking off even though you already came.

George jizzed everywhere but continued on in post-wank shame.

by Dickweed McGee May 3, 2014