Petty Masturbation

The act of masturbating to fully clothed people or simply to the idea of something.

Jack: Man that girl so hot, I'm ready to get my petty masturbation on
Ralph: I prefer the naked girls but you do you

by Mothonator January 4, 2015

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Mentally Masturbating

Adjective: A state a mind where you seem aloof but brain function is occurring.

Just so you don't think I was mentally masturbating all day here is that excel spreadsheet you requested.

by patmyballs July 10, 2009

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Animal Masturbation

The act of masturbating an animal by me nigga.

Take this you stupid cat. This is how you Animal Masturbation

by haha yeah man that shits funny January 2, 2020

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The Masturbation Nation

The Fanbase of Jade Thirlwall

ME: I really like your shirt. Thats Jade on it, are you a fan?
Y/N: Yess! I am part of the masturbation nation

by DarkLarrie28 August 8, 2022

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The act of masturbating to a girl (or guy) from your past who at one point was extremely attractive but is no longer due to aging or weight gain. The masturbator would then jerk off to a mental image of how the once attractive girl looked in the past (retroactively) rather than how she looks currently. This occurs quite often when thinking about aging female celebrities who at point were major sex symbols.

Similar to "nostalgia wank".

Rick: Yo man, did you see Chloë at our ten year high school reunion?

Matt: Yea, brah. She got fat. Fuckin' shame, she used to be sooooo hot.

Rick: I know right? I'm gonna find an old yearbook and beat off to the way she used to look in high school.

Matt: Good ol' retroactive masturbation! Ya know, for a quicker yank, you could just scroll backwards through her Facebook profile photos.

by jodielover81 October 4, 2018

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