ass on table

1) Forgetting something extremely important

2) Screwing up

3) Messing up

Jason: Wow I don't have my car keys..

Ernie: WDF ASS ON TABLE DUDE!

by Borntwopk December 12, 2013

ass kegels

The act of clenching your asshole repeatedly when you really need to poop, but you're not near a bathroom.

Man, there was so much traffic on my way home that I had to do ass kegels to hold it in.

by Jamie Madders November 10, 2014

ass mopper

a person that visits the restroom in between shits and uses wet wads of toilet paper to clean his ass

I caught blair in the mens room. He is a known ass mopper.

by patrickdiddy April 29, 2009

ass-salmonella

A common side-effect of using eggwash as anal lube.

Dustin, you shouldn't use eggwas as anal lube with Precious... you're gonna give her ass-salmonella!

by The Rev NG8 August 4, 2018

ass baton

A versatile, short, pipe-like utensil usually carried by well-armed Black Friday mall cops. Commonly used for spanking rowdy and/or dangerous/hostile shoppers.

"Aw man, that cop has an ass baton!"

"Oh he finna use that ass baton, you'd best watch out"

by Auggie the Soggy Doggie December 20, 2013

ass ghost

The concentrated area that a dog sniffs at after quickly getting up from the place where they were sleeping or laying. This spot is always wherever the dog's asshole was.

You (to dog): Hey pup! Pick'n up the scent of those juicy burgers huh?

Me: No dude. She just woke up, and she's sniffing for her ass ghosts.

by sam skrambel April 30, 2009

Ass toucher

Somebody that comes out of the shadows to touch your ass

The Ass toucher constantly touched my ass from under the bleachers when I was watching the football game.

by OMMMEEEGGGGAAAA OOOOFFFFFFF September 28, 2018