safeway

Safeway (3rd Planet in the Supermarket Solar System)
Population: 200 poorly paid employees, 20 young wannabes with nothing to but hang out at a supermarket on a Saturday night, 10 angry old people with stupid questions, 50 or so middle aged soccer mum species who consider themselves to be the most superior species on the planet, and 5 to 6 managers wandering aimlessly doing nothing.
Orbit: Around the planet is a vast asteroid like field of 4WD Class Space ships piloted by soccer mums. Extremely hostile and dangerous! Take caution!
Environment: Employees are regularly subjected to the hostile natives and are forced to endure seasonal carol music non-stop for a month.
Recommendation: Avoid AT ALL COSTS!

"I got past the Soccer Mum asteroid field only to be rammed to death by a roving granny with a walking frame!"

by Employee November 30, 2003

Safety Koopa

Red-shelled koopas, as seen in Super Mario Bros., who are safety-conscious, and won't walk of ledges.

"Watch out for that koopa, up on that ledge!"
"It's okay, Alex. Safety koopas don't jump off ledges."

by Kahlil Robinson June 13, 2007

Safeway

To screw up your schedule every week. To have only two aisles open even though there are eight. To have zero tolerance for any physical contact expect right handed handshakes. This includes consensual hugging, kissing, pat on back, between co-workers, vendors, friends, family members, and even fiancees and spouses. They consider this sexual harassment even though hugging is not sexual. This is rule fit for boot camps or prisons, and communist countries like Cuba, N Korea, Vietnam. This policy increases chances of drug abuse, depression, and work place violence and decreases employee chemistry due to oxytocin deficiency, bonding and cuddle hormone. Safeway slogan ingredients of life. Better slogan ingredients for oxytocin deficiency and poor worker chemistry. No employee has rogue's super powers.

I have class on Tues and Thurs between 8 Am and 3:15 Pm. They schedule me 12 pm to 4 pm. They schedule me on Saturdays 4 to 9 more often than not. I hugged a depressed girl the store says I committed sexual harassment even though the touching wasn't sexual. I wasn't her client I am not in a position of authority over her. Most people who hug children aren't pedophiles. They don't molest strangers or out in the open public. They wait until the child and family trust them. You risk long term unemployment if you work for safeway even when there is no recession.

by Fenwick Island April 5, 2010

Snow Safety

Snow Safety is the practice of monitoring and controlling snow avalanches for public safety and to protect structures in areas prone to avalanches.

Snow Safety Teams are part of Federal Governmental AgenciesState Governmental Agencies such as State Highway Departments, Ski Resorts, Helicopter Ski Operations, Mountain mining operations and more...

Snow Safety Teams use a variety of methods to stabalize the snowpack and or force it to slide using explosives, ski cutting, boot packing and more...

The Head of Snow Safety for the ski resort decided to close the upper mountain so the trollers could shoot down that avalanche using a Avalauncher. That sucks for us cuz there's 3' feet of fresh pow up top, dude.

by The Snow Prophet May 13, 2010

Safety Monkey

This term originated from a webcomic called penny arcade. Saftey monkey is one of the group's friends that they constantly abandon, make fun of, and "tell him to meet places and never show up"

In everyday conversation, safety monkey is used to refer to a friend that is just there to make fun of. Sometimes this friend can still be a close friend and only the constant taget for playful jokes, however he/she might also be seriously attacked by his/her 'friends'

"John is our safety monkey"
"He's not really our friend. just a safety monkey."

by 64bitllama October 14, 2004

Safety Homework

When for some reason, you're not supposed to be going on the computer (because you're grounded, because it's midnight, etc) you either
A) pull up an old report you wrote on the computer or
B) write a paragraph on whatever class your "homework" is in, then copy and paste it over and over. Chances are, your parent isn't going to READ the paragraph, maybe just a sentence to know you're on track.

Then, you can do whatever without having to do anything.

I wrote a completely fake paragraph on Civil Rights for my Safety Homework while talking on MSN. Worked like a charm.

by More Awesome Than Thou November 13, 2005

Soviet Safeway

A really bad supermarket characterised by poor produce selection and long lines at the check out.

Homeboy: If we gonna drink tequila we need to stop at the store and get some limes.

Dude: Just don't pull into the Soviet Safeway there is no way they got any!

by oldbull September 6, 2010