split peen soup

When you're all horny in your trailer at night and want to have a special fap, so you sneak into kitchen and grab a can of Great Value sweet peas. You open the can with your Dollar Tree can opener and dowse the peas in canola oil. You then proceed to fuck the can of peas, but because all of the products you use are cheap and you are poor and stupid, there's a jagged piece of metal on the rim of the can that suddenly splits your dick down the middle. BAM! Now you've got split peen soup.

Girlfriend: We haven't had sex in two weeks. What's wrong with you?

Boyfriend: I didn't want to say anything, but last week I had three servings of split peen soup..."

by Jack Atrophy August 6, 2022

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Split ticket

When two prostitutes perform the functions of one for the price of one.

It was super late in Vegas and I got a split ticket from two bimbos.

"Who wants a split ticket at the Luxor?!"

by word nerdz August 20, 2019

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split jerk

When you caress a males testicles and jerk him off at the same time.

Bethany gives a good split jerk!

by Boxlova October 22, 2020

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Split cream donut

Fucking a mutilated thigh gap of a pasty complexioned young woman till a frothy mixture of man-cream and raspberry red blood fills the tunnel produced in the doughy flesh.

"Karen was such a basic yoga bitch of a white girl, I just had to hate fuck her."

"Did you give her a split cream donut?"

"You know it!"

by Vari the Vampire November 7, 2023

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split dump

taking a shit on more than 1 surface

when you go to sit on a counter and shit your self and it goes on both surfaces, thats a split dump.

leg must be at 90 degree angle, also must be semi runny otherwise no split.

by longjohndec December 12, 2009

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