Monkey Scrotum

When a guy's ballsack is similar to a monkey's.
Peter Griffin: "RANDY FULLMAN?! I'm here to beat the crap out of you!"
Randy: "You can't peter, I have MS!'
Peter: "You hear that Chris? This guy has a monkey scrotum and he's bragging about it!'
by usefbishara March 24, 2008
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Church Monkey

Someone who is not focused when they should be, very scatter brained when they should be cool calm and collected.

Imagine bringing a monkey to church.
George drove from dealership to dealership like an excited little church monkey, instead of taking time to update his notes.
by NLMRSD September 20, 2013
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Monkey smile

(Noun) Used to describe any unidentifiable substance or substances which have a loose likeness to man fat.
1. Has someone covered the lemon drizzle cake with monkey smile?

2. I was up all night making that monkey smile.
by Fatkid_13 October 07, 2021
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Lump monkeys

Lump monkeys is a hunchback person with a growth the site of your fist on their back.
“Look at those crusty lump monkeys over there.”
by Ass_hat69 December 06, 2019
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scat monkey

(n) 1. a person who gains sexual pleasure from getting defecated upon.

2. a person who enjoys eating faeces.
Bob: Dude, that chick I fucked last night wanted me to shit on her.

Pete: Ha! You picked up a scat monkey.
by Twisted_Colour April 19, 2009
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Fucking Monkey

>n. (pl. Fucking Monkeys)
2 The Nature Conservancy organization revealed to the scientific community in February 8, 2010 that Pan pugus is actually a parasitic mammalian organism that latches on to a desired target. Behavioural analysts of the Nature Conservancy published an article denouncing the species to be a "pest to wildlife, even humans." At maturity, the Fucking Monkey metamorphoses its anatomical structure into a horrendous appearance, and begins looking for a "mate" (prey). If the prey is Homo sapien, the Fucking monkey proceeds to figuratively "latch on" to its target, and siphons time, and capital slowly. The unfortunate victim will not realize malevolent effects until all his or her time and capital have been siphoned away. Pan pugnus will then "break up", or latch off from its victim. Finished prey will be nothing but a shell, and may be emotionally unstable, until companions console him or her.
Me - "That Fucking Monkey is so ugly..."

You - "It's because it metamorphosed."

Me - *vomit*
by GorlamiMargarettiDominic February 09, 2010
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monkey pooch

A foul-smelling, well-used vagina. Most females possessing a monkey pooch are either lacking the intelligence of the conventional woman or are simply both liars and hussies.
"Kevin, the smell of your girlfriend's monkey pooch could kill a small rodent."

"Kevin! You want to make me feel better than I feel right now?! You want to give me pleasure? Stick your fingers in my monkey pooch!"

"Shit, she had four guys in that monkey pooch of her's."

"Kevin, your monkey pooch - having girlfriend is a liar and a hussy."
by Mattrick McKennedy August 07, 2006
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