Torturing The Turtle

Excesive Compulsive Masterbation

"Where is Rob?"
"He is in his room torturing the turtle."

by Matlor March 6, 2008

Awkward Humping Turtle

When you make an awkward turtle on somebody's shoulder and push back and forth in a humping motion.

Wtf, my mom tried to pull an awkward humping turtle on me during grandma's funeral

by currybomb July 29, 2010

Operation Flying Turtle

An advanced homosexual technique used by only the most adventurous couples. You start this delight by turning up the heat in the room to make your sack leather maliable. Once the sack leather has reached a bubblegumish feel. You then stretch the sack over the entire erect penis and With one hand (your dominant hand preferably) you lock the sack skin firmy in place at the base of the shaft. Now With your other arm supporting your lower back. Have your man kneel before you, grab his ankles, and bring his knees to his shoulders then tell him to repeat the word "Gamera" three times. Now comes the difficult part that takes otherworldly aim and precision. From approximately 15-20 yards out try and achieve a nice eric Dickersonesque head of steam and pray to god you hit the doodoo chute with enough force to engulf the whole " flying turtle... Nothing worse than a fractured Half turtle.

Godspeed

This move was invented,perfected and practiced repeatedly by Adam Carolla on his male staff members over at ace broadcasting studios.

Adam-" Hey bald Bryan, forget that fancy new tumor medicine you've been taking.... I got something better."

Bryan-" what's that boss?"

Adam-" looks like you dropped your pencil"

Bryan-" oh thank......... Uuuuuurrrrgghh ahhhhhhhh noooo! Not operation flying turtle again!!"

by The white pathfinder October 9, 2012

Turtle

A beautiful, awesome girl who is your best friend and is always by your side. Turtles demonstrate excessive cuteness and happiness that fills your heart with joy. They also possess a beautiful ass. Frequently, Turtles have a stupid, short-tempered friend who takes their friendship for granted, but the Turtle forgives him with no remorse because of her angelic heart.

She's not just my best friend. She's my Turtle.

by TechTuna July 17, 2011

turtle

Condition in which a portion of feces has passed just beyond the anal sphincter.

See also turtle head

Dude I have to shit so bad, i am having a turtle

by Andrew Lochhead May 23, 2005

Drunk Turtle

after a long night of doggy style, the handsom male ejaculates on the drunken girls back. then she proceeds to role over onto her back and pass out. the next day she wakes up, to find herself stuck to the sheets. but not all the sheets, just the bottom one. the Drunk Turtle is similar to the superman, except the superman is with the top sheet.

example 1.

Steve: hey jeff, did you hear that Max gave Nicole the Drunk Turtle the other night?
Jeff: no way man, that is the cats pajamas, i love to give girls the Drunk Turtle
Steve: yeah man, we should go find some bitches and drunk turtle them as well.

Example 2

Anthony: listen bitch, i'm only gonna tell you this once. Either i get to give you the Drunk Turtle, or you don't get the fuck me. you can however make me a sandwhich! actually i don't want a sandwhich, i just want to give you the drunk turtle!

Bitch: :) ok i love when guys cum on my back and then i pass out, it is super not degrading and i tell my parents all about it. it's the best thing since sliced bread.

by Gorman Green Man September 22, 2011

mud turtle

An unattractive woman.

I'd never go out with Mary. She's such a mud turtle.

by Andrew Morse September 24, 2006