noun; the act of being on an internet enabled device for no reason other than the pleasure of oneself.
"There's been a lot of device masturbation, if you will, and it needs to stop. I know your just updating your Facebook 15 times a minute, and there is no reason for it." My history professor.
by Crazybmws September 22, 2011
Get the Device masturbationmug. A hilarious autocorrect fail in which someone wanted to go to a masquerade party but it autocorrected to masturbate party.
I have to go to a
masturbate party tonight
and I don’t know what to
wear to it.
Um why not go naked
lololol
HAHAHAHAHA
A masquerade party
Damn
autoeroticasphyxiation
I’m not even gonna ask
Yeah it’s probably for the
best
masturbate party tonight
and I don’t know what to
wear to it.
Um why not go naked
lololol
HAHAHAHAHA
A masquerade party
Damn
autoeroticasphyxiation
I’m not even gonna ask
Yeah it’s probably for the
best
by Hurricane Dorian August 29, 2021
Get the Masturbate Partymug. the act of discussing business without actually saying ANYTHING, but embuing said corporate masturbator with an undeserved feeling of being of interest or utility to those present or his or her current employer
corporate masturbation can easilly be identified when any of the phrases below (but not limited to this list) are used in the context of discussing a business or business activities:
'going forward'
'restructure our asset-base'
'efficient through-flow model '
'KPI monitoring'
'increase the number of revenue streams'
'consolodating our holdings'
'business paradigm shift'
'stakeholders'
'daynamasism'
'strategic re-evaluation'
etc etc
'going forward'
'restructure our asset-base'
'efficient through-flow model '
'KPI monitoring'
'increase the number of revenue streams'
'consolodating our holdings'
'business paradigm shift'
'stakeholders'
'daynamasism'
'strategic re-evaluation'
etc etc
by bored by business bullshit February 26, 2013
Get the corporate masturbationmug. You use a masturbator, hand, dildo, etc. that you or someone intentionally make the thing your masturbating with extremely cold. Then you masturbate with it, typically giving a orgasmic shivering nut.
by TioKilo December 3, 2018
Get the Cold Masturbationmug. Self service, in response to a break up, or a girlfriend who won't give you any. A man's way of saying "I don't need sex either bitch!" A man's best war cry.
JOHNNY: Man my girl is mad, she ain't putting out...
Mike: MASTURBATION IN RETALIATION!
Johnny: REVOLUTION
Mike: MASTURBATION IN RETALIATION!
Johnny: REVOLUTION
by JohnnyYou love him to like him July 2, 2016
Get the masturbation in retaliationmug. When a person writes or types words, phrases, sentences, articles, and the like for the sole purpose of self adulation. While similar to sexting, texual masturbation is primarily for the gratification of the person writing said text, as oppose to the one receiving or reading the text.
by Lain of the Wired December 24, 2014
Get the Textual Masturbationmug. The act of a married, or romantically committed, Man pleasuring himself regularly so as to eliminate the temptation of being unfaithful.
If I didn't do some Preventative Masturbation, I would be chasing after every skank in the neighborhood.
by Niems04 January 9, 2014
Get the Preventative Masturbationmug.