Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 09, 2023
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Jesus Christ!

Hym “JESUS CHRIST! ‘Jews can work for me as long as I can spy on them and put cameras in their house and follow everything they do’!? He went full Dr. JeepJorp! That’s what the living god Dr. Jordan PeeperJorp thinks! WOOOOOW! Wow! That’s crazy man! And ‘if you don’t believe in Jesus you shouldn’t have any power.’ Holy shit, we are in full Christian theocracy mode. Ha! Hilarious! That is wild. This is wild.”
by Hym Iam December 07, 2022
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Christ is King

ANYTHING CAN BE ANTI-SEMITIC NOW! LITERALLY ANYTHING! EVERYTHING IS A MIRCO-AGGRESSION WHEN IT COMES TO ANTI-SEMITISM! HA! HAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! AHA! AHA! HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IT'S CRITICAL RACE THEORY ALL OVER AGAIN! EXCEPT FOR THE JEWS! HA!
Hym "Oooooooooh MAN! That. Is. Priceless! Okokok! 'Christ is king' is anti-semitic now... ANYTHING can be anti-semitic now! Literally any combination of words according to Jeremy Boring... Which is fantastic! Here are some new anti-semitic things to say: 'Shrimp on the barbie' Is anti-semitic now because the jews are small and it's easy to cook a lot of them at the same time. 'Don't forget your hat' is now anti-semitic because the Jewish people, they never forget! They're like elephants, these guys. What are you trying to say? You think Jews don't have good memories? Ok. The next one is 'OoOo Gehfoigal!' And it's anti-semitic because it's what I hear in my head when I think of a Jew. Right? OoOo Gehfoigal! You hear it? Sounds jewish, right? Er- yiddish? Right? OoOo Gehfoigal! There. It's saved in my quick-text. Now when I type 'G,' Gehfoigal is the first word that pops up... As it should be. Uuuuumm... All baked goods (obviously). They're just not kosher... Uuuhh... Literally anything! Anything you say is anti-semitic now! Make up your own today!"
by Hym Iam March 27, 2024
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Anti Christ

Play fourhorsemen by mettalica backwards
Anti Christ is a fishermen
by MineOwedWu's July 16, 2021
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ah jesus christ

ah jesus christ
by person who writes definoitonss December 13, 2020
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Resting Christ face

A plastic false face usually Caucasian with a strained look of hope burnt in facial expression leaving dopy arrogant hays on there face at all times.
Did Kevin Sorbo alway have resting christ face? My stomach Never turned from watching that hercules show
by Sub128 January 31, 2021
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Criminal Way Christ

A band that is on the way up. The band members consist of:

David - Lead Vocalist/Bad Keyboardist
Danny - Bad Drummer
Bruan - Bad Guitarist

We currently practice a variety of genres including:
ELECTRONIC FOLK NOISE DEATH BLACK HAIR METAL
We hope to record an album later this year using all of these styles for an amazing experimental album!
Guy 1: Hey man, you heard that latest band Criminal Way Christ?

Guy 2: Hell yeah, they are bitchin'
by TheRapin April 25, 2006
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