The verbal equivalent of a nuclear strike. A title reserved for people, objects, or situations so mind-rottingly pointless that their existence is proof Darwin sometimes takes a smoke break. Calling someone a “waste of sperm” basically says: you weren’t just a bad roll of the dice — you shouldn’t have left the sock.
It’s beyond “loser.” It’s the final boss of disrespect. Think of it as humanity’s recycle bin, but empty.
Origin:
First dropped by philosopher/comedian/legend Rami Abdulgany, when a friend suggested banging the physics teacher who had just torched the entire class with an exam. The immortal reply: ‘Fuck her? Waste of sperm, man.’ The rest is toxic history.
It’s beyond “loser.” It’s the final boss of disrespect. Think of it as humanity’s recycle bin, but empty.
Origin:
First dropped by philosopher/comedian/legend Rami Abdulgany, when a friend suggested banging the physics teacher who had just torched the entire class with an exam. The immortal reply: ‘Fuck her? Waste of sperm, man.’ The rest is toxic history.
by BlueMarketEnthusiast September 11, 2025
Get the Waste of spermmug. Phil: 'Stephen explane what sperm is'
Stephen : 'I don't not sir, I'm w virgin.
Also Stephen:' Sperm is what believes comes out of your penis when your uncle rubs it '.
Stephen : 'I don't not sir, I'm w virgin.
Also Stephen:' Sperm is what believes comes out of your penis when your uncle rubs it '.
by Kaasplankje3.0 May 3, 2020
Get the Spermmug. by Jaybee_87 September 20, 2020
Get the sperm bagsmug. "Sperm-troeteldier" (singular) or "Sperm-troeteldiere"(plural) is an Afrikaans - a language spoken in South Africa - collective noun and neologism, that directly translates to "sperm pet/s" in English. It refers to annoying infants/toddlers/children/teenagers, as the concept or idea itself, is derivative of the well-known fact that humanity is the only mammal species in the history of existence that keep their sperms as pets. This quaint little Afrikaans neologism is specifically designated for individuals who really don't like kids, and a very polite (albeit somewhat sarcastically offensive) way to describe those annoying little "knater monsters" (crotch goblins), of your friends and immediate family. This silly little neologism has maximum effect when used in close proximity to a Karen. So, if you don't like kids; this one's for you!
"Jirre, ek moet alweer vandag na my suster se fokken sperm-troeteldiere gaan kyk!"
(Jesus, today I have to go and babysit my sister's fucking sperm pets again!)
"Susan! Kom haal jou sperm-troeteldier, hy het sopas op my nuwe fokken skoene gekots..."
(Susan! Come and fetch your sperm pet, he puked on my new fucking shoes...)
Persoon 1: "Fok, ek haat kinders!"
(Person 1: "Fuck I hate children!"
Persoon 2: "Jy bedoel seker sperm-troeteldiere?!"
(Person 2: "You probably mean sperm pets?!")
(Jesus, today I have to go and babysit my sister's fucking sperm pets again!)
"Susan! Kom haal jou sperm-troeteldier, hy het sopas op my nuwe fokken skoene gekots..."
(Susan! Come and fetch your sperm pet, he puked on my new fucking shoes...)
Persoon 1: "Fok, ek haat kinders!"
(Person 1: "Fuck I hate children!"
Persoon 2: "Jy bedoel seker sperm-troeteldiere?!"
(Person 2: "You probably mean sperm pets?!")
by thefriendlysatanist March 20, 2023
Get the Sperm-troeteldiermug. a decadent Detroit dish composed of Joe's Pizza,and Frita's Batidos drizzled with the finest, freshly milked LeSperm
by farter_jerkoff123 February 15, 2025
Get the sperm goulashmug. by Knoxdewitt December 30, 2017
Get the Sperm Whalemug. A direct competitor to the for-profit Sperm Bank, the Sperm Credit Union is a co-operative sperm banking venture owned collectively by depositors, who are known as members. Through careful management and economy, it can pay a little more or charge a little less as it had no outside stockholders seeking profit at members' expense.
The same pattern held in other sectors where small, local credit unions had taken on large, greedy for-profit banks. Make a deposit in Blood Credit Union and they bleed you a little less aggressively than the corporate hacks at Blood Bank. Withdraw noodles from the local Food Credit Union and be able to repay a few noodles less than would be charged by a greedy, Wall Street Food Bank. And on it goes.
The principle is the same as any other mutual or co-operative society, such as Mutual Orgasm as an insurance provider or the Building Societies as mortgage lenders. By taking matters into their own hands, members collectively obtain a more satisfying outcome.
The same pattern held in other sectors where small, local credit unions had taken on large, greedy for-profit banks. Make a deposit in Blood Credit Union and they bleed you a little less aggressively than the corporate hacks at Blood Bank. Withdraw noodles from the local Food Credit Union and be able to repay a few noodles less than would be charged by a greedy, Wall Street Food Bank. And on it goes.
The principle is the same as any other mutual or co-operative society, such as Mutual Orgasm as an insurance provider or the Building Societies as mortgage lenders. By taking matters into their own hands, members collectively obtain a more satisfying outcome.
I was initially sceptical when that trollop Beth tried to seduce me into becoming a member. What, pray tell, is a Sperm Credit Union? This sounded like something out of the idealistic free-love Summer of '69 where the Sexual Revolution, fuelled by the Pill and not yet castrated by full-scale STD panic, led to massive orgies of excess where everyone belongs to everyone else. And these Annual General Meetings? They sounded like something out of a porn flick, Bukkake Gangbang part 666.
Then she sat me down and opened the books, reviewing the prospectus and the annual reports. The business model appeared sound; infertile couples pay to borrow members' DNA — both sperm and eggs — to build their families and secure their future. Members deposit their seed and earn interest. Much like a bank, every one of the hundreds of millions of sperm every day would be individually counted, frozen, accounted for and secured. Every one of them. Everything was strictly regulated and deposits nationally insured up to a limit of a half-million sperm. Compared to the shambolic wreckage of the rest of the US banking system, the Sperm Credit Union was fiscally-prudent and well managed.
Then she sat me down and opened the books, reviewing the prospectus and the annual reports. The business model appeared sound; infertile couples pay to borrow members' DNA — both sperm and eggs — to build their families and secure their future. Members deposit their seed and earn interest. Much like a bank, every one of the hundreds of millions of sperm every day would be individually counted, frozen, accounted for and secured. Every one of them. Everything was strictly regulated and deposits nationally insured up to a limit of a half-million sperm. Compared to the shambolic wreckage of the rest of the US banking system, the Sperm Credit Union was fiscally-prudent and well managed.
by bitchuck September 3, 2024
Get the Sperm Credit Unionmug.