two hander

bobby

"woah is that bobby? he has a giant two hander!"

by Urban Dickhole October 13, 2011

oh shit handles

a large woman's love handles, used for holding on when she is having her way with a smaller man as he yells "oh shit" and desperately clinches her love handles.

"She wasnt gonna let up, so I grabbed me some of them oh shit handles and held on for my life"

by Vultron January 9, 2008

umbrella handle

A female is giving a man a handjob, when the penis gets hard enough, she squeezes the tip, causing it to spurt. If it does a somewhat vertical stream upwards, the woman has 'gripped the umbrella handle.'

Boy 1: She totally gave me a GREAT umbrella handle!
Boy 2: Dude, sick.

Girl 1: I think I gripped the umbrella handle amazing.
Girl 2: Yuck!
Girl 1: No, it was actually a good rush.

by Big.J April 20, 2009

Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Credenza

Slang term for hepatitis. The number of handles indicates the placement of the letter in the alphabet, one-handled for hep A, two-handled for hep B and three-handled for hep C. Term can be traced back to 1910s Detroit. Gained popularity within the Roaring Twenties jazz scene, then again among GI's in the second world war. A third surge in popularity during the sex-positive Vietnam years lead to it's controversial usage in Depatie-Freleng's 1972 adaptation of Dr Seuss's literary classic, The Cat in The Hat. A similar, more blunt reference to hepatitis made it's appearance in the Mike Meyers film based on the story 30 years later, likely channeling the animated adaptation.

When the Cat in the Hat was referring to his Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Credenza, he was indeed talking about hepititis C.

by Meatpatty8675309 March 14, 2019

homo handles

Sideburns. see also "bugger grips"

"check out the homo handles on that rockabill"

by djwalker October 13, 2008

Jesus-Handle

Much like a regular "handle" of liquor, a Jesus-handle is any quantity greater than 1.75 L of top-tier liquor. It is a colloquial for people who avoid the Godless metric system, and believe that sermons are best preached from atop a bar-stool.

"Sorority sisters just can't hold a candle

to the St. Mary's girls when they grab my Jesus-Handle."

by rhinofeeder January 22, 2012

Love Handles

The part of the body that you grab to secure a good hold while you slooooowly, perfectly, sliiide your thick, pulsing, throbbing, massive penis into her wet, delicious, warm juicy pussy....

🤤 😩 Harder, harder..

/|\ 🍅🍅 HARDER BABE

/\🍆🍩| SO MUCH

/\ HARDER
SHOVE THAT MASSIVE 10 INCH COCK RIGHT INTO MY AMAZING, DRIPPING PUSSY
HARDER

UH UH UH UH
(Loud moaning)
Uuuuuuuuuh.... harder

Deeper into my still wetter VAGINA!!! Harder!!!!

Bill harshly grabbed Ashley's love handles as he pulled her closer in bed so he could penetrate her warm, juicy, wet pussy with his massive cock. He held them tighter and she started to moan louder.

by PulsingPussyEater July 14, 2018