It's only gay if your balls touch

Some heterosexual men, in a two-male-one-female threesome, will avoid the sexual position "DP sandwich" because there is a good chance that one guy's dangling and swinging balls will rub against the the other guy's balls, creating gay pleasure and thus making the sex gay. The woman, to help the guys overcome their gay fears so that she can get what she wants, will encourage them by saying that the sex would only be gay if their balls touched.

Woman: C'mon guys, give it to me! At the same time! I'm so horny.
Man 1: No way, that's totally gay.
Man 2: Yeah, that's gay.
Woman: What is this, the Rocky & Bullwinkle show?! C'mon guys, think about it, it's only gay if your balls touch.
Man 1: (To Woman:) OK, maybe you're right. (To Man 2:) But I'm going to be on top because I don't trust you and your low-hanging balls.
Man 2: Sure, man, whatever.

by EmptyMeter April 25, 2017

Wisconsin Cheese Touch

To stick your finger in a girls pussy

I gave my significant other a Wisconsin cheese touch

by Kidswillbekids August 26, 2019

touch freak

A person that does not like to have anyone initiate physical contact with them.

"Don't pat Joe on the back, last guy that did that got a broken hand! Hes a total touch freak."

by ooberhack3r June 8, 2009

touch wieners

Figurative term used to describe the act of making amends after two men have a scuffle or disagreement. It often is accompanied with a simple hand gesture where the tips of both index fingers are put together in a gentle way. In rare instances, when one man wants to make amends, he will initiate the reconciliation by making the gesture to the other man pleadingly. (Beware: writer doesn't suggest this method for the potential danger of getting one's ass kicked.)

NOTE: The term also works quite well when it's involving 1 man and a butch woman OR 2 butch women.

GIRL: Man, Jeff and Gary were really pissed at each other on Friday. I hope they don't wind up fighting at work tomorrow.

GUY: No, it's cool now. Jeff took Gary out for a couple beers on Saturday night to touch wieners* and talk it out. They're good friends again.

* This is where the guy could add the hand gesture, if he felt so inclined

by guacablowme November 12, 2009

touch of the 'rettes

Suffering from tourettes syndrome for a brief period of time. Usually involves excessive use of the word "Fuck" and anything related to female anatomy.

#1: Holy sweet fucking vagina fairy! Hot goddamn bullshiting vulvarian cancer of the pussyitis im fucking angry!
#2: Calm down. Its only a hospital. They wont hurt you here.
#1: Sorry. I must have a touch of the 'rettes.

by Sir Ty December 9, 2008

Mimi Touch

When you are playing Soccer/Football and you receive a long pass and fail to control the ball well.

"so i did this long pass to the striker on the weekend, and he did the biggest Mimi Touch"
"Thats horrible"

by Juniorlikespoon April 23, 2009

the touch

Something you can have. It can help you defeat decepticons, or seduce women. Nothing is impossible if you have the touch, including unlocking the autobot matrix of leadership.

Ways to tell if you have the touch:

You never get hit when your back's to the wall.
When all hell's breaking loose you are riding the eye of the storm.
You get put to the test but it is never enough.
You're at your best when when the going gets rough.

Often, people with the touch also have the power.

Yao Ming has got the touch tonight!

by TheWizardof207 March 7, 2004