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muddy parachute

Freshly wiped poop on toilet paper that is being thrown over the stall wall which gently descends on the person in the adjacent stall.
My buddy Todd and I were in the bathroom dropping a deuce at the local Arby's when I told him to look up and tossed him a muddy parachute.
by RangerRick77 February 26, 2011
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Empty Parachute theory

The empty parachute theory is when someone (can be boy or girl but is usually a girl in heterosexual relationships) dating a boy/girl feels that their being able to get said person shows that they are clearly destined for greater things (better people) so after a while they will dump said person and attempt to find someone else. After they are unsuccessful in finding/keeping a new relationship they will then attempt to go back to the first person, almost as if they had jumped off of a cliff when they broke up with them and now after realising they had no parachute (no chance with others) they are crawling back to the top of the cliff (Original person).

This theory is common in instances where the girl was shy but attractive and the boyfriend is average (or easily friend zone-able) but is friends with a lot of people. Once the girl has become part of his social group she might feel that she can do better and attempts to find others without realising that without dating said guy she doesn't have any sort of parachute and is back at square one (If not lower).
Tim: You know my ex Emerson who dumped me a month back? She asked me out.

Alexandra: Yeah obviously, it's the empty parachute theory, she thought getting you was good but thought she could get even luckier, don't waste your time.

Jacob: Michelle dumped Jim, I wonder why, they were so good together and he helped make her so many good friends.

Amy: Oh that's classical textbook empty Parachute theory. Wait 3 weeks and she will be begging for him back.
by Primmy114 April 21, 2014
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Cincinnati Parachute

The poofy lap-pouch that naturally protrudes from the crotch area of one's dress pants while in the sitting position.
Jon looked like he was pitching a tent in his pants, but it was just his billowing cincinnati parachute.
by Jon, Chris, and Adam February 23, 2006
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Shit in a parachute

when you get stuck outside your apartment and have to shit in a plastic bag and toss it down the garbage shute.
"Ohh man...i couldnt hold it and had to Shit in a parachute and let it fly"
by Thugdaddydangledick November 18, 2009
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Huge Parachute Vagina (HPV)

When there are enough layers to ones vagina that you could use it as a wingsuit or a parachute.
That fair queen has a Huge Parachute Vagina (HPV) , all the folds just open up like a parachute when she walks to fast.
by Balls Mcginty July 19, 2018
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TARPaulin Parachute

A specific type of golden parachute which refers to executives who receive a disproportionately large reward, bonus or bailout despite being painfully incompetent at their job to tragic ends and use said reward in irresponsible ways.

This is most accurately directed at executives in the finance industry who received money from the TARP act intended to save the economy and, instead, used it irresponsibly.

In parts of the US, pronounced "tar-POLE-ee-in bailout."
Man, can you believe those fuckers at Citibank? Got a TARPaulin parachute and pissed it away on interior decorating, hookers and blow. Get the pitchforks and torches, I feel an old-school populist rage coming on.
by ghost_brigade February 8, 2009
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Golden Parachute Punk

A CEO who gets a fat paycheck after running a company into the ground.
Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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