steal a mirror

First used in Kurt Vonnegut's book, Breakfast of Champions, this phrase means roughly, "to take a leak."

"Sometimes somebody would say in his presence, 'Excuse me, I have to take a leak.' This was a way of saying that the speaker intended to drain liquid wastes from his body through a valve in his lower abdomen.

And Trout would reply waggishly, 'Where I come from, that means you're about to steal a mirror.'"

Guys, I'll be back in a second. I've gotta go steal a mirror.

by j0hnb0n April 13, 2007

Smoke and mirrors

When either a person or corporate entity make an offer "look" attractive with window dressing when it really isn't - but in reality they are only using SMOKE AND MIRRORS to distort this so they can keep holding the carrot on the stick in front of you!!! Almost like a Jedi mind trick.

"You will receive a BIG bonus next year and you are your own boss and can do whatever you want to succeed in this office!!" -that was smoke and mirrors. Here is the translation into what that really means:
"You will be chained to your desk. You will work 12 hours a day. You will not get a promotion, ever. You will have 9 bosses. You will receive just enough money to keep you alive while we pay your manager for his private jet and lakehouse in Wyoming. You will die in this place."

by Govenor Tarkin February 23, 2004

mirror food

food that smells the same before you eat it and after you defecate it

Man, I got some onion rings from the Sonic drive-thru the other day and they didn't smell any different when I shat them! Damn, that was definitely some grade-A mirror food.

by SonicEmployee February 20, 2010

Mirror

The magical item you can use to view your own body.

I looked into the mirror ,and saw my face.

by Detective N August 9, 2019

My Dog Turned on the Microwave

A convenient way of buying yourself time during a phone call or chat session without seeming rude.

(09:18) * S(A)lly strips
(09:18) <ReytheGreat> My dog turned on the microwave

by Wardnug April 7, 2009

In the Microwave?

When someone says something already said, one will say "In the Microwave?"

Originated in Topeka, Kansas:
"I hated in the movie Urban Legend when the dog blows up in the microwave."
"OH YEAH! In the microwave?"

Victor: Hey, look at that can of pie filling!
Danielle: Hey, look! Pie filling!
Victor: In the microwave?

by Urka March 23, 2008

Microwave Intuition

To pop something in the microwave, and then leave. Then to suddenly drift back towards the microwave just in time to when it hits 0. Basically, to be able to tell when your food is done, just by your intuition.

"Hey, why does Joe always get his food so quickly?"

"He has microwave intuition"

by Volleyball Blaiser October 5, 2011