Pink Malteser

The name commonly referring to a small penis; Malteser being the name of a popular confectionery brand in the UK in the form of small chocolate balls.

"Wow, did you see the size of that guys cock?"
"Yeah, I know! It was about the size of a Pink Malteser!"

by Phantasium August 31, 2012

Puckering Maltesers

The act of shiting oneself in fear so much that you can't retain control of your asshole and so little globs of malteser shaped poo come out uncontrollably.

Manchester United are puckering maltesers at the prospect of playing Manchest City today.

by SebilCrostar August 7, 2025

Pop a Malteser

To kill oneself using means of drugged sweets
To avoid a problem

A man gives you slightly warm maltesers and you question why they are warm

When you’re tired of a situation, the option is there

Ah yeah, Johnny, did you not hear? He popped a malteser last week

This coffee shop makes me wanna pop a malteser

by Barney_the_dinosaur November 23, 2021

maltese breakfast

A sexually deviant act committed by Maltese waiters to unsuspecting holiday makers which involves the Maltese waiter ejaculating into the food and drinks of his customers and stirring the food and drinks with his cock.

Stuart went to Malta and on his first day had a Maltese Breakfast with his wife

by TheMalteseFalcione October 15, 2019

Maltese

A metaphor for what a yuppie white girl wants to do her "man". Castrate him, emasculate him to the point he becomes her toy dog with separation anxiety and anger issues.

I saw the Maltese wearing khaki pants holding her hand in Uptown. Dam, he needs all the false hope nugenixs has to offer.

by Kosmack May 15, 2022

Maltese steve

A man /God walking amongst mere mortals ,has the thickest mane ,strong greasy Back Bush, a great after shave sales man ,who has the cock of a palomino horse .

Heybthats maltese steve ,I thought he was a myth ,look at that wedlock perm

by the beesting December 19, 2022

Malbeanery

The intentional inappropriate misplacement of beans in a place where beans should never be placed.

John placed beans in the air vents of a school, a cruel act of malbeanery.

by CyberCat45 April 7, 2023