handcuffs

A device that goes around someone's wrists to restrain them. They are used for kinky sex and by law enforcement. Recently the police announced they were moving to other ways of stopping crime.

A standard cop situation:
An on duty cop sees a man masturbating in front of Wal-Mart. He reaches for his handcuffs. Before he takes them out he determines that handcuffs aren't enough to handle this dangerous situation so he decides to use his gun.
The use of his gun was so effective that police stations started to phase out handcuffs in favor of safety for all.

by Throbbing Llama September 23, 2016

handicaped

Someone with a handicap that he/she thinks he/she can fly like super(wo)man.

You are handicaped.

by Rdejong3 February 11, 2012

Handaddict

Someone who jacks it (Masturbates) at least Three times a day, everyday.

Friend: "Damn man, I been whackin it way too much lately..."

You: "Dude you should get some help, you might be a handaddict."

by qazqazqaz December 9, 2008

Handicapslock

The unfortunate habit of n00bs, idiots, and morons to perpetually use the caps lock key, even when "yelling" is not implied. This is usually accompanied by other obvious examples of ineptitude, such as poor grammar, spelling, and total lack of punctuation or use of paragraphs.

They seem to lack absolutely any capacity to use a keyboard, and clearly struggle to achieve even the most basic of communication tasks, thus rendering them "handicapslocked".

"HI BRIAN I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW IM GOING TO THE BAR TONIGHT R U?" -Nicky, the handicapslocked.

by BrianTheGreat February 18, 2010

handards

Uber high standards. The exact opposite of landards.

Jerome defiantly has handards, he hooked-up with that really hot chick.

by GHETTOMILLIONARE January 10, 2010

Handcar

A sexual act involving two males facing each other standing erect. The first male bends forward mouth open, simultaneously the second male bends backwards thrusting his pelvis forward in the direction of the first male's mouth. Then the process is repeated with roles switched giving the impression of a traintrack handcar or pump trolley. Gargling noises may be added.

The other day a man tripped mouth first onto a penis and thus the handcar was born.

by LanceBass'Cock August 30, 2010

handicrapping

Handicrapping is when you use the handicap stall instead of the tiny regular one.

I used the handicap stall to take dump. Why would I use that claustrophobic little space when I could go handicrapping.

by Mr. Cranky December 31, 2013