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College essays

(noun, pl.) A completely masturbatory work of high school fiction, used by college admissions officials as psyops tests in order to evaluate your personality. These, on college applications, are better left blank, so long as your GPA, SAT, and other tests are in your advantage. Otherwise, sarcastic embellishment is usually required, in the form of a Hail Mary Pass.
Tom: So, how did you do on your college applications?
Michael: Great! I got accepted at all four of my picks, plus the University of Miami, and I didn't even apply there!
Tom: Wow! What did you write for your College essays? I couldn't think of anything but massive bullshit.
Michael: Oh, that's okay. They prolly didn't even read yours. I left all of mine blank, and they didn't care.
Tom: Well, you were a great student.
Michael: It's okay for you though, you just need to choose a less exclusive major.
by ssppuunn January 25, 2014
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Esayas

Handsome and tall. Many people wonder how he gets bitches but he got the sauce. He’s low key but loves to party
How does Esayas get bitches
by Anonymous459669 June 2, 2020
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Related Words
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writing an essay

an excuse commonly used (esp. by males) to justify locking ones self in a room (often bedroom) for the purpose of fulfilling ones daily masturbational quota/to listen to speed garage.
"right then, im off to write an essay."
by Rib March 30, 2004
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essayitis

The "sickness" one suffers from when he did not complete an essay or project for school to evade a zero from not having the project complete.
Wow. The book report is due today. There are eight students in Mr. George's class that are out. Could be essayitis.
by Agent111111111 April 12, 2005
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trinkets essay

A message sent in a discord that tries way too hard to be complex and deep while surrounded by comedic messages.
Person 1: yeah i like fortnite, it's pretty fun
Person 2: fortnite is a TRASH poopy game
Person 3: Playing fortnite.... brings back so many memories. I can't express how much fortnite means to me, trinkets and all. When I hit the start button, it instantly warps me to a world where my cares evaporate into stupefaction. When I see jonesy pop up on my screen.... tears flow. Countless memories with this timeless game.
Person 1: what
Person 2: goddamnit he wrote another trinkets essay
by pizzaman362 October 24, 2019
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Anchor Essay

FREAKING ESSAY THAT CAN LOwER yoUR GRADE...
My Anchor brought my grade from an A to a B-
by IRVINE ! December 8, 2003
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essaying

The process during which a writer is writing an essay.

Syn: essay-writing
-"Hey, wanna go out tonight and grab some brewskies?"
-"Sorry man, I'm essaying all night. It's 2000 words, and it's due in the morning."
by youtube.com/loser078 March 24, 2008
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