porcelain date

What you find in the rest room at a WNBA game.

I want to the Mystics game and ended up with a porcelain date..

by wnba unwilling watcher June 30, 2010

Pollock the Porcelain

Diarrhea of such an extreme and explosive nature as to render the inside of one's toilet bowl like a concave representation of a Jackson Pollock painting.

May be the result of extremely poor and unfortunate dietary decisions, (very) excessive beer consumption, invasive organisms, or simply God's way of communicating "His love" for you.

Not to be misconstrued as "important" or "avant-garde art."

Pollock the Porcelain: verb

"Steve-o really pollocked the porcelain this morning. It's been a real disaster zone. Impossible to clean up. Try putting THAT on one of those 'Oxy-Clean' infomercials."

by Dick Gazzina May 21, 2007

porcelain cruise

A mini office vacation. Feeling tired? Have that after-lunch-coma? Take a porcelain cruise! The act of locking oneself in a bathroom stall for 20-30 minutes in order to take a quick nap.

After that heavy lunch, I'm exhausted. Think I'll stop off for a porcelain cruise to relax for a while. Hope no one else comes to stink up my little vacation!

by Tim Holt July 29, 2005

porcelain Picasso

A defecation on the inside of a toilet bowl that leaves many streaks resembling a distorted Pablo Picasso painting.

I was about to flush when I realized I made a porcelain Picasso and took a picture instead.

by Russell Heimlich December 22, 2008

piss on the porcelain

An expression that implies one is being overly subtle while doing something common - such as talking. Similar to the way one would urinate on the bowl of a toilet or urinal to avoid creating an audible noise.

I want to call my boss an asshole, but I can't. I'll just piss on the porcelain about it for self-satisfaction.

by Big Dick Chuck November 7, 2007

porcelain kiss

Term used when a man is on the toilet and the penis touches the cold inside wall of the toilet.

Was taking taking a shit and everything was ruined with the porcelain kiss.

by anymm July 9, 2014

Porcelain Club

Similar to the upper decker but requires much more skill, balance, and dexterity. It also requires a lot more clean up. The toilet used for this act requires a seat AND a lid to create the full effect. The act of defecating on the lip or edge of the toilet bowl, then after log is carefully laid, gently close the seat and lay another log on the seat directly above the first one. Once that is accomplished, gently close the lid and create a multi layered turd sandwich otherwise known as the Porcelain Club.

Ed thought it would be funny to leave an upper decker at my house. I took revenge my to the next level by leaving a Porcelain Club at his house.

by bjhawk August 21, 2018