Kaya
Kayas are always skilled at many things - from Jenga, to scat jokes, to lying about many dice! They will never let their dreams be dreams, so it is wise to keep Kayas around for inspiration. You can spot a Kaya in the wild wearing a fashionable wig, a leather satchel (full of magical chocolates) or playing guitar. Kaya can play nearly any song you request on guitar, but will refuse if he doesn't respect your music taste. Do not embarrass Kaya with lame song requests. You can, however, always trust that Kaya will never let you down in a stressful moment. If you are about to be mauled by a wild bear, for example, while others are shouting and firing flare guns, Kaya will grab his guitar and play a little ditty to soothe your worst bear phobias, and more! Need a good laugh? Ask Kaya to put his glow in the dark thong on - they pair well with his white leather shoes, but you will NEVER catch Kaya wearing white pants. Kaya can also whip up a mean hot dog fresh from his hot dog machine (utilizing an unforgettable skill set from his hot dog on a stick days), and he will always have a beer or shot ready for you. If you ever encounter a Kaya, never let him go. He is more valuable than a Forrest Fenn bracelet.
Did you see Kaya ride by in that small child’s car? No, but I saw him in a regular car fanning money and blasting “bitch better have my money.”
Kaya by Karen Albert November 23, 2021
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