Skip to main content

haemorRoid

haemorRoid. Pronounced like Haemorrhoid with an emphasis on the second R which is always a capital letter.

Refers to Android and Android users who know nothing but carry-on like they are Neo from the Matrix.

Having scrapped through the Microsoft Certification, They know how to install software using an installer, replace component parts in a computer, and say 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' (interchangeable with 'do you want to go large?").

They claim to be heavy-weight coders, but most contemporary 13 years have more knowledge than them.

They will claim that there chosen mobile OS is superior to all others, even though the reality is they either can not afford, or have never used the best alternative to HaemorRoid. Most statements start with 'I hate Apple'.
eg 'I hate Apple, what's the time?' or 'I hate Apple, do you want fries with that?'

They have dire dead end jobs where the best they can hope for is a promotion to help desk.

They believe everything that Google (better known as Screw-U-gle) and Shamesung tell them. Even when Screw-U-gle and Shamesung are caught lying, they still promote the lie as truth.

Are capable of time travel as they believe everything copied from Apple was on the HaemorRoid first.

They claim haemorRoid is more secure due to the fact the average user checks the source code, but after 2 years not one of them found the HeartBleed bug.

See: Mouth-breather/compulsive masturbator
Roid-Rager: "I hate Apple, Android was first at everything, Googles/Samsungs marketing department said insert bulls#it"

Someone with real technical knowledge: "I use my phone, not masturbate over it, glad I didn't get a HaemorRoid phone."

Roid-Rager: I know everything about tech, coding, design, development, marketing, law and science, see I can quote things I looked up on youtube that I didn't really understand and I have never bothered to check the facts.

Normal person with taste: "that massive white phone covered in pleater looks ridiculous and tacky, are you from Billericay?" (Sniggers under breath "chav").

Roid-Rager: "shut up you don't even know insert flaky feature that has zero benefits and only works once out of ten attempts to use it."
by Andy Rubin April 16, 2014
mugGet the haemorRoid mug.

haemorRoid

haemorRoid. Pronounced like Haemorrhoid with an emphasis on the second R which is always a capital letter.

Refers to Android and Android users who know nothing but carry-on like they are Neo from the Matrix.

Having scrapped through the Microsoft Certification, They know how to install software using an installer, replace component parts in a computer, and say 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' (interchangeable with 'do you want to go large?").

They claim to be heavy-weight coders, but most contemporary 13 years have more knowledge than them.

They will claim that there chosen mobile OS is superior to all others, even though the reality is they either can not afford, or have never used the best alternative to HaemorRoid. Most statements start with 'I hate Apple'.
eg 'I hate Apple, what's the time?' or 'I hate Apple, do you want fries with that?'

They have dire dead end jobs where the best they can hope for is a promotion to help desk.

They believe everything that Google (better known as Screw-U-gle) and Shamesung tell them. Even when Screw-U-gle and Shamesung are caught lying, they still promote the lie as truth.

Are capable of time travel as they believe everything copied from Apple was on the HaemorRoid first.

They claim haemorRoid is more secure due to the fact the average user checks the source code, but after 2 years not one of them found the HeartBleed bug.

See: Mouth-breather/compulsive masturbator
Roid-Rager: "I hate Apple, Android was first at everything, Googles/Samsungs marketing department said insert bulls#it"

Someone with real technical knowledge: "I use my phone, not masturbate over it, glad I didn't get a HaemorRoid phone."

Roid-Rager: I know everything about tech, coding, design, development, marketing, law and science, see I can quote things I looked up on youtube that I didn't really understand and I have never bothered to check the facts.

Normal person with taste: "that massive white phone covered on pleater looks ridiculous and tacky, are you from Billericay?" Sniggers under breath "chav".

Roid-Rager: "shut up you don't even know insert flaky feature that has zero benefits and only works once out of ten attempts to use it."
by Andy Rubin April 16, 2014
mugGet the haemorRoid mug.

memorrhoid

An overwhelmed sensation brought on by physically straining one's intellect or memory.
While trying to remember his busy schedule, Barry incurred a memorrhoid.
by acehole1 October 16, 2009
mugGet the memorrhoid mug.

You and your hemorrhoids

A Derogative term to address a party, implying that the party has hemorrhoids. This phrase is used for embarrasment rather than sheer insulting.
You and your hemorrhoids better get the fuck outta my sight before I ream your ass!
by Gumba Gumba February 26, 2004
mugGet the You and your hemorrhoids mug.

Haemorhoid

Synonym for unwanted person or group not able to take hints about going away and leaving people alone.

Has been referred to a certain class of whinging immigrants (Poms - see Brit, Limey, English).
Why are poms like haemorhoids? They come out, are a pain in the arse and they wont go back.
by sociopath9 April 15, 2009
mugGet the Haemorhoid mug.

hemorrhoids

1. A condition that causes bleeding from your rear end.

2. An insult used to describe a person who is about as irritating as the anal condition.
Girl 1. You can’t sit with us.
Girl 2: Actually, I can’t sit anywhere because I have hemorrhoids.
by Senpaiwaifu July 8, 2019
mugGet the hemorrhoids mug.

chronic hemorrhoids

The worst hemorrhoids you could imagine. it never goes away and haunts your dreams, being that you cant even get to sleep. Have fun with your blood butt
Fuck i have chronic hemorrhoids, guess no anal for me :(
by Big Daddy Requis February 13, 2017
mugGet the chronic hemorrhoids mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email