Mormonspeak

The inadvertent or intended modification of the language and meaning of the doctrines of the canon of the Restoration (including the New Testament) to conform to mistaken pop-culture and legalistic influences within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Perhaps the most egregious example of Mormonspeak is the common erroneous interpretation of 2 Nephi 25:23 that seeks to replace Ephesians 2:8-9 with regard to the absolute nature of grace, where, in fact, both passages are equivalent.

In other words, if we are to be saved at all, then we must be saved entirely by grace, after we do the only thing we can do as fallen mortal beings, which is to believe in Christ and be reconciled to God according to the requirements of the attainable gospel of Jesus preached by both Paul and Nephi. What we do in the plan of redemption is designed to bring us to Christ, for only he possesses the power to save.

by mormonredeeminggrace May 21, 2012

moron

one who lacks any sort of safe driving skill and should not have been issued a license.

(cut off in dense traffic at 65mph) *HONK* learn to drive ya fuckin moron!!

by caprice24 March 30, 2013

moronaire

A person with the intellectual capacity of a rock, with an over-abundance of money; or someone with more money than brains. In the case of a younger person, the money usually derives from family wealth and not from personal hard work. Known traits of moronaires: their inability to show respect to fellow human beings and the Law, as well as their overdeveloped sense of entitlement. This manifests mostly during their attempts at driving vehicles of all descriptions on public roads.

Dubai is a magnet for moronaires from all over the world. A good example would be a rich high school graduate racing around in a Lamborghini or other super car, and lacking the common sense or respect for law to drive safely, thus crashing and causing a spectacular fireball soon thereafter.

by Woefers October 6, 2013

Mormontarily

About 20 minutes. The approximate amount of time it takes for a Mormon to show up late to a sacrament meeting just enough for no one else to see him/her not partake of the sacrament.

Where is Jenny? We're singing her favorite hymn in sacrament meeting today!
She'll be around mormontarily.

by SameAsCache December 8, 2014

Mormon Last Call

When you are a Mormon, and you aren't married by the age of 25, your standards tend to become more lax. This phenomenon is not unlike that of a bar at closing time. LDS men and women who would not otherwise have any particular mutual attraction or interest wind up together because, within this community, if you are not married by the time you are 30, you will be a spinster / bachelor for life. To an outsider, this arrangement may seem like a cruel fate, but it bears reminding that in the Mormon religion, the sealing is an important step to gaining eternal life. In Matthew 16:19, Jesus said “And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven”

A mormon couple's non-mormon friends are talking about them across the room.

Non-mormon man: "What's the deal with those two? They don't seem to fit as a couple."
Non-mormon woman: "Dude, they met at Mormon Last Call."

by jsizzle82 July 12, 2014

Mormon Block

Two cars driving side-by-side at the same slow speed on a highway, thus blocking others from passing. This slang imagines a family with many children forced to take two cars and then drive in a manner that is oblivious to other traffic and others around them.

Those two cars are doing the Mormon Block and slowing the entire highway down to 40.

by Mr. Underhill May 27, 2016

mormon dating

Two mormons under the age of 16 who are attracted to each other but aren't "dating". Everyone knows they are a thing.

Tilly and Cora are totally mormon dating.

by algebrarox February 19, 2017