The Death Wank

Similar to the risky wank. It involves sitting in your room with a boner, then yelling to your mum that you need to see her quickly. The trick is to start and finish jerking off before she makes it to your room. Only attempted by fucking idiots or virgins who can cum that fast.

john: "MUUUUUUUMMMM COME HEREEEE!!!"

mum: "Coming" Step, step, step

john: "SHIT, SHIT ,SHIT, FUCK ME YEAHHHH"

mum: step, step, open door "WTF!!!"

john: "CRAP....DIDN'T MAKE IT"

John fails the death wank. Silly prick

by Wattini October 15, 2008

wank spanner

wank spanner-reference to the wanking hands of a fit bird in reference to her wanking you off

2 jeremy beadles deformed hand also known as a wank spanner

check out the wank spanners on that bird
look at jeremy beadle and his deformed wank spanner

by Jeremy Beadle January 15, 2004

A Wank of Engineers

A collective noun to describe a group of more than 3 engineers in one place. Similar to a herd of Elephants or a murder of Crows.

"I work in a building with a wank of engineers"

by Gizmo_Cakka May 20, 2010

Nurofen Wank

The art of beating yourself off so much that it hurts, but you also get the pleasure of shooting your load. This can also be achieved after violently stabbing yourself whilst masturbating hense the name Nurofen Wank as pain/relief

Greg - "My cock hurts so much"
Martin - "Whys that Greg did you score some mean pussy last night?"
Greg - "Nah I just had a major Nurofen Wank"
Martin - "Your fucking crazy"

by Martin and Greg January 15, 2008

Pocket Wank

When one decides to 'bash the bishop' whilst ones hand is in his pocket.

Boy, I had a good pocket wank earlier

by Anonymous September 2, 2003

wank hank

A handkerchief a guy takes to bed to masterbate into, so he does'nt leave semen stains on the bed sheets. Posher than using a kleenex but less posh than using a condom.

Paul is sick, he left a wank hank on the radiator to dry so he could use it again without washing it.

by The pioneering chronic masturbator September 14, 2006

Poo Wank

For a male to masturbate whilst sitting on the toilet; just after he's used the toilet for a poo.

Person A: I had a Poo Wank last night.

Person B: I don't understand why you'd want to do it?

Person A: Well the hard part was already over, taking my pants down and stuff, so I thought I might as well.

by Joee Brownn May 26, 2011