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tation masturbation

when the warzone rotational aim assist is so stronk that they can use their right hand for some unsavory purposes while they operate the left stick to aim AND move at the same time
damn i just died to this guy while he pulled 1-handed tation masturbation
by brysonnn November 28, 2022
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Vestal Masturbation

One of the most notorious heavy metal t shirts in history, Cradle of Filth's "Vestal Masturbation" depicts a nude nun pleasuring herself on the front, with the phrase "Jesus Is A Cunt" written in large letters on the back.
His parents were outraged to find out that he had been kicked out of school for wearing his Vestal Masturbation t shirt.
by LemmyForever December 19, 2021
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Mental Masturbation

The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.
"That girl think I like her because i invited her to my party, that's pure mental masturbation"
by Falcon64 April 30, 2018
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Lazy Masturbation

The act of resting your hands in your pants and holding your genitals or butt, usually absentmindedly. It is usually mildly pleasurable, but is not done to get off.
"Woah, why do you have your hand in your pants?"
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."
by JaxMP August 8, 2018
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mobile masturbating

When you masturbate in a moving vehicle, may be done as either driver or passenger
Hanging out with my friends got me so horny I did a little mobile masturbating on the way home to relieve myself.
by Tonksalot September 14, 2018
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Masturbation Paralyzation

When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
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intellectual masturbation

Reading or hearing something one does not understand and dismissing it as useless, calling it "philosophy" as an insult, then falling for every media pronouncement and logical fallacy as being profound or meaningful.
Ayn: To love is to value.

Sam: Huh? You mean you have to pay for it? Philosophy sucks! That's just intellectual masturbation.

Nan: We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it.

Sam: Makes sense to me. That's deep.
by Patriot-X April 25, 2010
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