holy masturbation

After the occurrence of a massive dry spell, one must partake in the holy masturbation which is the act of sitting in a confessional using holy water as lube as the priest blesses your act of satisfaction

Im sorry father for I have sinned I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years. I must partake in holy masturbation.

by Dman1011 February 21, 2023

email masturbate

The act of sending yourself an email.

Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.

by fbunky November 14, 2013

Masturbation-Probation

A Chance To Redeem Yourself During No-Nut-November.

BIGGIEYYY: No! I Just Failed No-Nut-November!

Madajio: Chill Dude, Your Just On Masturbation-Probation Now.

by Madajio Júan-Pablo December 25, 2021

tation masturbation

when the warzone rotational aim assist is so stronk that they can use their right hand for some unsavory purposes while they operate the left stick to aim AND move at the same time

damn i just died to this guy while he pulled 1-handed tation masturbation

by brysonnn November 28, 2022

professional masturbator

That good good masterbating

U like cheese professional masturbator

by That good good cheese March 30, 2021

oregon masturbator

Infamous public masturbator in Oregon.

Magbots is the Oregon masturbator.

by Podesta XD May 25, 2018

mind-masturbating

To mind-fuck oneself, often in succession; lubrication offered by drugs, alcohol, etc.

I'm mind masturbating to string theory right now.

John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."

by TH3 BL4NK May 01, 2012