Jared

Extremely small penis. Inflated ego. Lowkey fruity

You know it's just jared

by Bananahandler69 September 26, 2021

Jared

Actually the cooloest, sexiest, amazingest, coolest, poggest, incrediblest, bestest, finest, greatest, topest, foremostest, leadingest, preeminentest, premierest, primest, firstest, chiefest, principalest, supremest, of the highest qualityest, superlativest, unrivaledest, second to nonest, without equalest, nonpareilest, unsurpassablest, peerlessest, matchlessest, unbeatablest, unexcelledest, optimumest, ultimatest, incomparablest, idealest, perfectest, highestest, record-breakingest, top of the rangest, top of the linest, par excellencest, starest, number-onest, one-in-a-millionest, a cut above the restest, top-drawerest

Woah bro you're totally Jared rn

by ScaryBigRobot May 12, 2022

Jared

A fat Costa Rican bastard who got a shitty ass haircut and hates a lovely boy named Bryan. Nigga Jared thinks he’s rich ($14 an hour makes fat niggas go crazy) he lies about everything except that he has so many hoes. Nigga thinks he’s a thug cause he live in a shitty ass apartment. The biggest city boy s(as in fat asf but he still a city boy) got pepperoni nipples, SpongeBob acne and is a big fan of chaka culture and claims the chaka set. And he is thankful for god given opportunity’s Jared is a good homie and faithful vato and

Margret: Jared is fine ask
Hannah: I’d let him nut inside of me
Margret:…
The hoes: I’d like Jared to fill my holes

by Chester2fine March 10, 2023

Jared on the Chaired

Jared on the Chaired is a magical elf who only sits on chairs & is much more critical on reports to santa than typical elves. Jared also explodes on christmas and shows back up again the next year.

Be good! Jared on the Chaired is watching!

by notoeduw December 21, 2024

Jared

Typically white male, probably plays golf or tennis, and follows the outfit formula: T-shirt, shorts, Nike socks with white vans. A “Jared” is most likely an asshole who treats women like shit and says “oh shit my bad”

Person 1: oh my god why does he treat me like this
Person 2: because, he’s a “Jared”

by Solocupgirl December 9, 2019

Big Dick Jared

A well built african american with significantly large genitals, so much so that it may be a burden for him.

“Woah babe, your dick is just like big dick jared’s!”

by Jared1337 June 13, 2021