When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
by WhiterThanKevinJames'Vagina June 3, 2018

The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.
by Falcon64 April 30, 2018

When you hear or are listening to a catchy song or piece of music while fapping, and start moving your hand to the beat. You will often be able to hold your load longer which os always a plus.
"Turn of jacob i really want to blow my load before mum walks in, this rythmic masturbation is really annoying."
by Butt plug joey March 21, 2017

The practice in which professors and teachers find new ways to talk about hypothetical and unpractical solutions to nonexistent problems or scenarios. Simultaneous waste of taxpayer money may or may not be present depending on the type of institution.
This new class is a huge waste of time; the professor loves academic masturbation, but hasn't actually taught us anything useful.
by bob seeply December 13, 2016

Air masturbation is when a woman sucks air in and out of her vagina or asshole to masturbate with it.
"I heard weird sucking and farting noises coming from her room for the past 10 minutes. She must have been using Air Masturbation.
by baronessjeans May 31, 2018

Magbots is the Oregon masturbator.
by Podesta XD June 9, 2018

when the warzone rotational aim assist is so stronk that they can use their right hand for some unsavory purposes while they operate the left stick to aim AND move at the same time
by brysonnn November 28, 2022
