jesus tonight

Exclamation of annoyance when particularly fed up of over explaining something.

Jesus Tonight Shirley...if Ive told you once Ive told you a thousand fucking times!!

by porkchopexpress November 3, 2007

Jesus clout

Using Jesus and religion to gain power and influence while being dope AF

Justin Bieber's pastor Carl Lentz has mad Jesus Clout

by Bridgemeister11 November 12, 2017

Easy Jesus

E&J Brandy, preferred definition and drink of homeless drunks.

I just got paid, time to buy a fifth of Easy Jesus!

by Jooky Sea Captain June 19, 2004

Jesus Button

When one makes a statement, that depending on listener’s faith and devotion to Christianity, can instigate anger and castigation.

Brandon and Laura stormed out of my apartment after Clay told them that the Virgin Mary was only a virgin because of a mistranslation from Hebrew to Greek which really pushed their jesus button.

by C.R. Strenth June 21, 2008

Greased Jesus

Something (or someone) either super awesome, super sexy, or super ... greasy

"He was so greasy that he slid right off the cross and into our hearts"

"Greased Jesus is on my side tonight"

"That hat is ugly, and she paid 40 dollars for it. It's ridiculous. Greased Jesus would not approve."

"He sneaks around your room at night...except he just sort of slides around on the floor...unfortunately, he's too greasy to do much.

by marmar216 May 19, 2009

jesus martinez

Jesus martinez is a person who is a Savage, dont trust no one, and/or a person who is smart and cute.

Everyone is in love with that new boy name jesus martinez he is a real cholo.

by fat triel November 26, 2015

Jesus

The greatest man who ever lived. About 2000 years ago he was born in Bethlehem to a woman named Mary and when he grew up he started the Christian religion. He taught the Jews of that day and soon he was delivered by some men who hated him to the Romans and was Crucified. While dying he took all of our sins on him so that God could forgive anyone of us who believes on Him. But he didn't stay dead after three days in the grave he rose again and after some final instructions to his 12 disciples he ascended into heaven and lives there preparing a place for anyone who will receive him. Here's how to receive him. Pray this prayer "Lord Jesus I am a sinner I thank you for dying for my sins I believe you were enough please save my soul In your name I pray amen" If you prayed this prayer and mean it you are saved.

Jesus friend of sinners.

by djbeard December 17, 2017