jesus goggles

If you say that someone is wearing Jesus goggles, you mean that that person has been so on fire for God that they think someone is more sexually attractive because they too have the same level of passion for Jesus instilled in their heart:
"How did you manage to get such a beautiful girlfriend when you look how you do?"
"Brah pls- Jesus is my wingman"

""Why is she dating him, he ain't fly"
"Ahh man homie, she must have her jesus goggles on tiggggghhhtttt"
"Ahmen to that"
"Mmmmhmmm"
by uj6tyjhvj March 27, 2015
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steakhouse jesus

Male with athletic build that is well versed in a multitude of aspects. Typically always down for a party while still being able to be counted on in times of need. Most assuredly a Harley Dyna rider who's got cool facial hair. Can quote most any movie from the 80's and carries a knife. Bib optional.
The party was pretty stale until Steakhouse Jesus showed up. That dude ripped up an 8 ball and got everybody drunk. When a bar fight broke out he stopped it with one hand. He even got a tip from the strippers, man. That dude knows how to get down.
by mötleylou June 11, 2020
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Jesus

The greatest man who ever lived. About 2000 years ago he was born in Bethlehem to a woman named Mary and when he grew up he started the Christian religion. He taught the Jews of that day and soon he was delivered by some men who hated him to the Romans and was Crucified. While dying he took all of our sins on him so that God could forgive anyone of us who believes on Him. But he didn't stay dead after three days in the grave he rose again and after some final instructions to his 12 disciples he ascended into heaven and lives there preparing a place for anyone who will receive him. Here's how to receive him. Pray this prayer "Lord Jesus I am a sinner I thank you for dying for my sins I believe you were enough please save my soul In your name I pray amen" If you prayed this prayer and mean it you are saved.
Jesus friend of sinners.
by djbeard December 16, 2017
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raptor jesus

A meme that rose to fame when it was the 900,000th post on 4chan's /b/ (which now has over 40 million posts). Consists of a raptor's head crudely photoshopped onto a picture of Jesus.
Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins.
by adeb November 23, 2007
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raptor jesus

Just as jesus was the savior of man raptor jesus did the same for his dinosaur bretheren. See also denver the last dinosaur.
Man Bhudda could take raptor jesus!
by Drew Mcleod May 30, 2005
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Jesus baby

When your girlfriend who wont have sex with you is miraculously impregnated.
Guy 1: A fool, I see your lady's bump, ata boy. Guy 2: Well, we havent even done it, guess its a Jesus baby.
by M.S.B. July 29, 2011
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Tranny Jesus

A Gay Icon that goes by the Pseudonym Conchita Wurst when not preaching to the masses. Closely related to Jesus Christ, the turn of the millenia jewish hippie socialist who taught people not to be assholes. Yet subsequently gets blamed for all the assholes who claim to follow him. Tranny Jesus is sometimes seen as offensive by people with no sense of humor, and homophobes.
I saw a Hottie down at Krispy Kreme, and Good Lord Tranny Jesus I nearly fainted.
by Slim Lyde-Prioleau November 07, 2014
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