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Intellectual masturbation

A conversation with the purpose of confirming or showing off both parties' knowledge in a certain field, without providing new leads or ideas.
They kept jerking each other's brain off in that round of intellectual masturbation about algorithms optimization.
by SollyDMonkey July 3, 2022
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Emotional Masturbation

Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite rmark from another
Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*
by d_Firefox_b March 7, 2023
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precation masturbation

The act of masturbating the day before a long vacation to avoid the urge to touch oneself in close proximity to friends and/or family members.
I've made our reservations, packed our bags, and had my precation masturbation session. I am totally ready for this trip!
by RonnieRon February 6, 2017
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Big Masturbation

The forces at work trying to make me watch porn and play with my innocent Christian penis. The sex industry equivalent of Big Pharma
Me: Big Masturbation has no impact on me. I don't even do pre-marital handholding
My penis: Get PornHub Premium
by FuzzyDanglers April 23, 2020
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tation masturbation

when the warzone rotational aim assist is so stronk that they can use their right hand for some unsavory purposes while they operate the left stick to aim AND move at the same time
damn i just died to this guy while he pulled 1-handed tation masturbation
by brysonnn November 28, 2022
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mind-masturbating

To mind-fuck oneself, often in succession; lubrication offered by drugs, alcohol, etc.
I'm mind masturbating to string theory right now.

John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."
by TH3 BL4NK October 6, 2012
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