Intellectual masturbation

A conversation with the purpose of confirming or showing off both parties' knowledge in a certain field, without providing new leads or ideas.

They kept jerking each other's brain off in that round of intellectual masturbation about algorithms optimization.

by SollyDMonkey July 3, 2022

masturbation procrastination

When you throw all your responsibilities out the window and just masturbate.

Damon didn't finish his project until the last minute because he was too busy with masturbation procrastination.

by dddisaster November 29, 2016

Emotional Masturbation

Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite rmark from another

Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*

by d_Firefox_b March 7, 2023

Rythmic masturbation

When you hear or are listening to a catchy song or piece of music while fapping, and start moving your hand to the beat. You will often be able to hold your load longer which os always a plus.

"Turn of jacob i really want to blow my load before mum walks in, this rythmic masturbation is really annoying."

by Butt plug joey March 21, 2017

academic masturbation

The practice in which professors and teachers find new ways to talk about hypothetical and unpractical solutions to nonexistent problems or scenarios. Simultaneous waste of taxpayer money may or may not be present depending on the type of institution.

This new class is a huge waste of time; the professor loves academic masturbation, but hasn't actually taught us anything useful.

by bob seeply December 13, 2016

holy masturbation

After the occurrence of a massive dry spell, one must partake in the holy masturbation which is the act of sitting in a confessional using holy water as lube as the priest blesses your act of satisfaction

Im sorry father for I have sinned I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years. I must partake in holy masturbation.

by Dman1011 February 21, 2023

mobile masturbating

When you masturbate in a moving vehicle, may be done as either driver or passenger

Hanging out with my friends got me so horny I did a little mobile masturbating on the way home to relieve myself.

by Tonksalot September 14, 2018