swedish crumpet

a swedish crumpet is when you fart on someone’s food and then make them eat it. similar to a dutch oven, but replace the face with their food. often performed as a revenge ritual against a friend that wronged you, this move is taken stealthily in secret but there’s no doubt the enemy won’t notice the difference as soon as they chow down.

term coined by gizem bektas DJ and journalist.

A: Oh My God, Felix pulled a swedish crumpet on my ikea meatballs yesterday.
B: No way… was the aroma pungent? I haven’t done one of those in years.
A: It lit my taste buds and nose on fire..

by gizemtheDJ January 8, 2025

Swedish Slingshot

When you shit in a condom and then you use it to slingshot your ass liquid at someone

somebody did a drive-by Swedish slingshot on my dad!

by Hal Wilkerson January 10, 2025

Swedish flicker gooning

Swedish flicker gooning is the practice of putting multiple IKEA meatballs down your urethra until they reach the bladder. Once your bladder is filled you may now take the first flight to Malmö, Rosengård (Zlatan Ibrahimovic's birthplace). Upon your arrival you must go to the nearest bus stop and get on the first communal bus. Once on the bus you will need to sit next to a stranger and start aggressively sucking the meatballs out of your bladder. Once all of the meatballs are out of your urethra you may start to flick the tip of your penis and say "oh Zlatan Ibrahimovic bless all of Rosengård with my seed and cleanse it of all evil". When you finally reach climax you must scream like someone just brutally severed your limbs. This will be your best climax and you will not be able to top it, even if you try doing the same thing again.

Yooo, I tried Swedish flicker gooning this weekend and it was marvellous, have you tried it before?
Nah, but I have been meaning to for a while now. But I can't find the confidence for it.
You've gotta try it man, it was the best experience of my life.

by Hduzk January 11, 2025

Swedish bark

Another word for a loud and obnoxious burp.

After the lugubrious dinner I did a Swedish bark.

by Cheesegrater1637 February 4, 2025

Swedish oil change

When a big blonde girl puts meatballs up your ass

This girl gave me a Swedish oil change last night. Was she blonde? No, she was Italian.

by Alfroed February 13, 2026

Swedish Anteater

The act of slipping your penis into your friends drink when he leaves it unattended

Filip pulled a Swedish Anteater on Ryan's drink while he was away

by Bigboiii69 February 27, 2025

Swedish Softcock Flickergooning

Swedish Softcock Flickergooning (Or just Swedish Softcocking) is a variation of flickergooning where you first must chug a whole mason jar of water, then goon for at least an hour. Completely stop for about 5 minutes, so you are left in a state near orgasm, but your cock is soft. Once this state is reached, you must slap your cock onto a table repeatedly, as hard and as fast as you can manage until;
1: you get hard again, in which case you stop until you are soft

2: you orgasm
It is important that you remain soft even once you start cumming, because the next step is squeezing your cock as hard as possible in order to hold back the semen. You must then (While holding in your cum) put an entire box of Swedish Fish in your mouth (don't eat them just yet!). Once the box is empty, stick your cock all the way to the bottom, squeeze your balls as hard as possible, and start pissing (the cum should come out with it). Spit the Swedish Fish back into the box, close it, and shake it up. Make sure all of the candy is evenly coated, then leave it somewhere hot for a week or so. When you come back, open up the box. What you do with the result is up to you...
(Negative health effects may be caused by Swedish Softcock Flickergooning, or consuming the result)

Jimmy: "Want some Swedish Fish?"
John: "You haven't been Swedish Softcock Flickergooning, have you?"
Jimmy: "No..."
John: "Then sure!"
John was found dead that evening

by Jimothy A. Bonquavious March 2, 2025