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Take you to church

When you wear a priest robe and fuck someone in the ass while their on their knees asking God to forgive them for their sins
I'm gonna take you to church tonight .
by MrMagicFingersz July 9, 2016
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You have two cows ...

The beginning scentence in a series of political and economic jokes. "You have two cows..." jokes began as a parody of typical intro-course material in college level economics featuring a "farmer in a moneyless society, using his cattle and produce to trade with his neighbors."

The cows are used as a metaphor for currency, capital, means of production, and property.

"Two cows" jokes typically portray an outsider's view on many cultural and economic issues using paradox, and sarcasm.
You have two cows ...
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.

CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.

SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have
four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.

UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.

FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.

Intel Pentium 60 - A80501-60
You have 2.0000000056987983 cows.

In the marketing department
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of two thousand millicows!

Fact
You really have 0 cows.
by Lillic0rr April 30, 2006
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what ends you from

What endz u from basically basically means if someone from London approaches you u should run for ur life
Person 1. Oi fam what endz u from cuz
Person2. Gets the fuck out of there
Basically u should run if someone says what ends you from
by *moans loader* June 2, 2020
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Man, fuck you guys!

Phrase. The first words that usually exit my mouth whenever I discover Urban Dictionary editors chose not to publish my submission. Also applicable when directed to your crappy football team, kids who won't let you into their secret club, and your television when you're drunk and Erin Esurance won't make out with Keira Knightley.
Urban Dictionary editors chose NOT to publish your submission which you worked very hard on. Instead, they have killed all your friends and burned down a pet cemetary. Ha-ha.
"MAN, FUCK YOU GUYS!"
by Rusty Was Here January 29, 2007
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I will punch you in the tits

A phrase commonly used in the Mid-Atlantic bar scene to ward off mother hens trying to cock block.
Fat Chick: "No, Kerri, we need to go!"

Bar Patron: "Woman, I will punch you in the tits!"
by TomKVideo December 29, 2008
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Jam a bastard in it you crap

Jam a bastard in it you crap! is something Mom from futurama said before slapping her son.
Mom: Jam a bastard in it you crap!
Son: Ow!
by DJ BioDiesel May 25, 2009
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I don't disagree with you

Essentially means, "I hear what you're saying, but I still think you're full of shit."

One agrees to the other's comment, but not really, in a passive-aggressive way.

Often used in the work environment to piss off co-workers.
Perky Employee: I think we should get a work group together to determine how to build company spirit. I really think it would build morale.

Co-Worker: I don't disagree with you, but I think comp-days would work better.
by hatebigcorp November 18, 2009
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