NPR Masturbation

Masturbating passively while doing something boring.

"Do you listen to This American Life?" - John
"It's a pretty good candidate for NPR masturbation." - Charlene

by ImaHonky April 19, 2009

masterbait (masturbate)

It is the term that illiterate and dumb 9-12 year old retards, who listen to the Teletubbies and masturbate to pictures of Will Smith, use to replace the original word "masturbation" with.

I, a nerdy 12 year old, usually masterbait (masturbate) to Will Smith's topless pictures.

by drugaddict4206669] September 15, 2016

professional masturbator

That good good masterbating

U like cheese professional masturbator

by That good good cheese March 29, 2021

masturbation procrastination

When you throw all your responsibilities out the window and just masturbate.

Damon didn't finish his project until the last minute because he was too busy with masturbation procrastination.

by dddisaster November 29, 2016

academic masturbation

The practice in which professors and teachers find new ways to talk about hypothetical and unpractical solutions to nonexistent problems or scenarios. Simultaneous waste of taxpayer money may or may not be present depending on the type of institution.

This new class is a huge waste of time; the professor loves academic masturbation, but hasn't actually taught us anything useful.

by bob seeply December 13, 2016

Rythmic masturbation

When you hear or are listening to a catchy song or piece of music while fapping, and start moving your hand to the beat. You will often be able to hold your load longer which os always a plus.

"Turn of jacob i really want to blow my load before mum walks in, this rythmic masturbation is really annoying."

by Butt plug joey March 21, 2017

holy masturbation

After the occurrence of a massive dry spell, one must partake in the holy masturbation which is the act of sitting in a confessional using holy water as lube as the priest blesses your act of satisfaction

Im sorry father for I have sinned I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years. I must partake in holy masturbation.

by Dman1011 February 21, 2023