NPR Masturbation

Masturbating passively while doing something boring.

"Do you listen to This American Life?" - John
"It's a pretty good candidate for NPR masturbation." - Charlene

by ImaHonky April 19, 2009

masterbait (masturbate)

It is the term that illiterate and dumb 9-12 year old retards, who listen to the Teletubbies and masturbate to pictures of Will Smith, use to replace the original word "masturbation" with.

I, a nerdy 12 year old, usually masterbait (masturbate) to Will Smith's topless pictures.

by drugaddict4206669] September 15, 2016

metaphysical masturbation

When you find your way from day dreaming about sex to full on intercourse with your mind. No touching of the genitals. Just that pure, raw, emotional feeling. Your internal love is enough to propel you to climax. Usually done whilst laying in bed, thinking about a significant other or a crush.

I love her so much, whenever I think about her I find myself endulging in metaphysical masturbation.

by JGUMBY April 16, 2019

gravitational masturbation

When u jerk off and jump repeatedly while screaming "IM IN SPACEEE" before cumming all over the planets

Guy: dude i masturbated last night and it was one of those gravitational masturbation ones and I nutted all over the solar system

Dude: I nutted all over my neighbors roof last night and had to spend a day in prison

by looneylobs August 5, 2017

masturbation and porn

when a man sucks a pussy and when a old man watches hot girls unwrap there bikinis.

Joe saw masturbation and porn each fucking minute on pornhub and zoom.

by timmy the fat nigger February 9, 2022

Air Masturbation

Air masturbation is when a woman sucks air in and out of her vagina or asshole to masturbate with it.

"I heard weird sucking and farting noises coming from her room for the past 10 minutes. She must have been using Air Masturbation.

by baronessjeans May 31, 2018

academic masturbation

The practice in which professors and teachers find new ways to talk about hypothetical and unpractical solutions to nonexistent problems or scenarios. Simultaneous waste of taxpayer money may or may not be present depending on the type of institution.

This new class is a huge waste of time; the professor loves academic masturbation, but hasn't actually taught us anything useful.

by bob seeply December 13, 2016