NPR Masturbation

Masturbating passively while doing something boring.

"Do you listen to This American Life?" - John
"It's a pretty good candidate for NPR masturbation." - Charlene

by ImaHonky April 19, 2009

masterbait (masturbate)

It is the term that illiterate and dumb 9-12 year old retards, who listen to the Teletubbies and masturbate to pictures of Will Smith, use to replace the original word "masturbation" with.

I, a nerdy 12 year old, usually masterbait (masturbate) to Will Smith's topless pictures.

by drugaddict4206669] September 15, 2016

Air Masturbation

Air masturbation is when a woman sucks air in and out of her vagina or asshole to masturbate with it.

"I heard weird sucking and farting noises coming from her room for the past 10 minutes. She must have been using Air Masturbation.

by baronessjeans May 31, 2018

metaphysical masturbation

When you find your way from day dreaming about sex to full on intercourse with your mind. No touching of the genitals. Just that pure, raw, emotional feeling. Your internal love is enough to propel you to climax. Usually done whilst laying in bed, thinking about a significant other or a crush.

I love her so much, whenever I think about her I find myself endulging in metaphysical masturbation.

by JGUMBY April 16, 2019

masturbation and porn

when a man sucks a pussy and when a old man watches hot girls unwrap there bikinis.

Joe saw masturbation and porn each fucking minute on pornhub and zoom.

by timmy the fat nigger February 9, 2022

Mental Masturbation

The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.

"That girl think I like her because i invited her to my party, that's pure mental masturbation"

by Falcon64 April 30, 2018

mind-masturbating

To mind-fuck oneself, often in succession; lubrication offered by drugs, alcohol, etc.

I'm mind masturbating to string theory right now.

John's Girlfriend: "Hey, want to come over?"
John: "Hold on a second, I'm finishing up mind-masturbating to Stephen Hawking talking about quantum physics and the theory of multiverses. Oh yeah, oh yeah..."
John's Girlfriend: "Oh."

by TH3 BL4NK October 6, 2012