Canada's History 

Before this sex act begins, the man spends an hour cementing maple syrup onto his penis to add bulk. The woman assumes a headstand and begins performing fellatio on the man while he shoves a moose antler up the woman's vagina as far as he can. The woman then gets on her knees as the man uses an antique rifle from the war of 1812 to fire a rubber rod up the woman's anus. The man then shoves various Canadian currency up the woman's vagina and fills her mouth with moose droppings while several other men masturbate into a Stanley Cup. After they ejaculate, the semen is used to draw a Canadian Flag onto the woman's back.

Jill: Hey Ashley guess what.
Ashley: What?
Jill: I got Canada's History-ed last night. Those Canadians sure do know how to make my vagina sticky and my anus sore.

Canada's History by Dj Twinfrenzy March 3, 2010

History of Canada 

A depraved sexual act symbolically representing Canada's place in the world, in which one person, representing Canada is put on a loose leash by a Queen, while being simultaneously ejaculated and defecated on from their mate below.

The resulting act is known throughout the world for both it's difficulty, humility, and the passive aggressive submissiveness of it's protagonist.

We decided to spice up our sex life by doing the History of Canada. It was very strange doing the History of Canada for the first time. As the man underneath kept rolling over to defecate or continue coitis depending on which was more urgent. Meanwhile a man with a lisp holding a leash giggled and commented from several feet away.

History of Canada by JustinSeseSeko February 9, 2010

canadas history 

Canada's History is a depraved sexual act first performed around 1898 in the lawless Yukon territory by "Meaty" Georges Gagnon, a French-Canadian prospector during the Klondike Gold Rush. Georges performed the act on many willing and unwilling men, women, children, and domesticated animals (the rumors of this act being performed on moose and kodiak bears are unconfirmed). The act was called a "Dark mar on Canada's History" by local politicians, and "the only interesting thing in Canada's History" by American papers sensationalizing the Klondike Gold Rush.

The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.

Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.

Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.

The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.

Roommate 1: Geez, eh, you were loud last night with that girl. What were you doing in there, Canadas History?

Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.

Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.

canadas history by kingkongNINJA February 6, 2010

Canadas History 

A depraved sex act which involves inserting the stanley cup in to a womens ass. Then soaking your penis in maple syrup. Sticking the maple syrup up her vagina. then takeing your maple syrup soaked penis and comencing to throat fuck the women all while humming "oh canada"
Thanks stephen colbert

guy 1: you know that Rachel girl?

Guy 2: yeah.

Guy 1: dude i gave her the complete canadas history last night!

Canadas History by That fatguy February 4, 2010

Canadas History 

CH is a special act during which a prepubescent male moose is fed maple syrup for no less than 3 months, during that time all fecal matter is collected in a cup-like vessel made of silver and nickel-alloy commonly refereed to as the Stanley Cup.

After that time the moose is sure to have died of diabetes and its set of antlers and the filled cup are used to disable all inhibitions in post-menopausal killer-whales which in turn enables cross breeding with African Elephants to help stabilize their numbers.
This has led to an increase in Elephants over the recent months and their status as an endangered species is close to being revoked.

Thanks to Canadas History, we can start poaching again.

If it weren't for a lot of Canada's History, ebony would be twice as expensive

Canadas History by Africanelephantlover February 5, 2010

Canadas History 

When you pour maple syrup all over your balls and dip them in someones mouth while pissing up their nose and shitting on a Canadian flag

Yo i just saw a video online of someone giving a Canadas History to some slut

Canadas History by Peter McPeterson February 4, 2010

Canadas History 

The act of inducing labor with a non-pregnant male with a hockey stick dipped in syrup.

Last week a friend of mine experienced Canadas History and was killed.

Canadas History by projectA91 February 5, 2010