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Austin Paradox

The scenario of a man having an option between suitors, although not knowing whether the suitors have interest in the man in question, although suspected. Usually consists of four options: choose one, choose the other, wait it out, or start over with a new, unrelated suitor. The scenario usually ends badly for the man in said paradox, and the man is haunted with the thought of what could have been had he chosen another option.
“Yeah, my friend is caught in an Austin Paradox. He’s having a mental breakdown trying to figure out what he should do. I pity him.”
by Helixgamingco August 19, 2021
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Austin Bro

The bro unicorn. The safest and best of all bros.

Austin bros have money, but not too much money (or they would never want you to feel uncomfortable with their net worth). They enjoy pools, 4 to 6 weeks of vacation a year, mid sized SUVs with aggressive off-road capabilities with a car wash membership close by. But they are also anti-historical bro — they don’t care for sports, hate fraternities, don’t bang loud obnoxious angry music, respect women, drink responsibly, not in good ol boy clubs, don’t care about clothing brands (as long as it’s the brands they care about), didn’t go to upper end colleges, don’t wear axe all the times but only on the most special of occasions.

This is the safest version of a bro that exisits. These are loyal bros. Great husband and dad material, masters on the grill and smoker, and excel at odd hobbies like fly fishing and urban gardening.

Austin bro vehicles:
4Runner TRD’s (usually blacked out)
Ford Broncos (2” lift)
Sometimes f150’s (if they have boats)

Austin bro wardrobe:
Howler brothers

Vuori

Levi’s

Surf brands
Austin bro can defined through a Saturday morning text: Hey Bro, bring the kids over poolside today. I’m throwing a brisket on and I brought some IPA’s back from our trip out west.
by CousinToAnAustinBro July 2, 2022
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Austin Curtis

by anonymous May 5, 2022
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Sloppy Austin

When you’re giving a blowjob, and you start scatting with the dick in your mouth
Person A- things were really heating up with John last night, so I pulled out the Sloppy Austin
Person B- Damn! He must’ve came buckets!
by 1Tubesoc1 November 12, 2020
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sarah and austin

sarah and austin are the hottest people to ever live
by bae:D November 30, 2020
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Austin Abboud

The most handsome boy in the entire universes. With usually GIGANTIC BALLZ but has a addiction to doing vortex’s.
HOLLY SHIT Austin Abboud can do a fully sick vortex.
by AllSamualsAreGay February 12, 2021
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Liv Austin

The best girlfriend ever and the most prettiest Girl ever and very kind over all she is perfect
by Taylerlovesliv March 12, 2021
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