turtlefuck

A fuck done in the style of a turtle. Meaning in a shell.
A turtlefuck is a little-known sex position that is slightly more complicated than most. It requires that both participants wear turtleshells large enough to place themselves in (this usually means a fake or synthetic turleshell). The actually sex must be done almost doggystyle but with the shells on, and VERY slowly. This cannot be stressed enough as any rapid movement in the turtlefuck will make it unsuccessful. And green paint may be needed in some very VERY special circumstances. Also, there must be a song about turtles, a cartoon featuring turtles, or a large poster with a turtle on it. Or, in ideal situations for a turtlefuck, there may be as many as 500 live turtles in the immediate vicinity of the turtlefuck(s).
A common misconception about the turtlefuck is that it does not alter the birth of children. A good example is how most people believe the Teenage Ninja Turtles to be the result of some crazy radioactive shit and turtles. The truth of the matter is that the Teenage Ninja Turtles are the result of a highly successfull turltefuck between Chuck Norris and Wonderwoman.
Turtlefuck is also sometimes a term used to a person. see the example 1.

1-Dude, you are a turtlefuck.
2-He/She is down for a good ol' turtlefuck.
3-Hey baby, i got the shells, time for a TURLTEFUCK!

by C. Bond June 9, 2007

Ninja turtle

Whilst having your ass licked, sneakily push out a turtles head and quickly retract again. Causing surprise & delight.

She was giving me anal pleasure when a Ninja turtle appeared and disappered. she asked, what the f**ck was that. I said I did'nt know.

by Domotello May 17, 2007

Turtle Shelling

The art of hiding an erection while sitting and leaning one's upper torso at a 45 degree angle betwixt one's chest and lap. The owner of said erection then proceeds to arch their back in such a way that makes them appear to be sitting upright. This causes said erection to recede into the body causing a "turtle shell" effect.

"Dude, my Spanish teacher is so hot...she had me turtle shelling all class."

by JoPaGeRi.TBC January 2, 2009

Gay Turtle

when a man sucks a dick wrapped in a taco shell.

one man wraps his dick in a taco shell with just the head sticking out, and another man sucks it.

I heard Matt gave Bob a "gay turtle"

by Neato Beatsmeato August 14, 2011

turtle syndrome

shrinkage when a man's frank and beans shrivel up when he experiences extreme cold, resembling a turtle reseeding into its shell.

i jumped into that cold pool and got wicked turtle syndrome.

by ross turner December 29, 2007

Turtle punch

When you headbutt a women's vagina.

I turtle punch that bitch cause her pussy smelled like Cristian's butthole !

by Hester Malone December 30, 2014

turtle ponchos

A turtle that looks like a poncho and a poncho that looks like a turtle, a very good dessert.

Turtle Ponchos are very good.

by CHANCLA THROWER May 1, 2018