Dirty Simon

The act of a presumedly straight male shoving various household items up his ass. Progressing from pens to eventually a carrot.

And finally, a fat fucking cock

Dude did you hear what happened last night? Yeah, someone pulled a dirty Simon in the kiddy pool

by Anna gammy April 15, 2020

Simon Cowell

A depressed,lonely bastard, who is known well for being a dick to many singers and dancers along with many other talented people and also is on AMERICA IDOLE, a show clearly for fucking 14 year old bitches or extremely fat woman who well believe this defination is what they call HEART BREAKING.

Boy:I just completed guitar hero on extreme for every song!
Simon Cowell:Well I am only going to say this once, I will pay you to stop, now fuck off you little mistake.

by sexybeast1023 March 6, 2011

Salmon Snatch

A woman whos pussy smells like tuna that has been left out in the sun for eight hours, or more. It occurs from the lack of hygene, and the fact that she has had at least five loads of jizz pumped in her daily, since sixth grade.

Kris MillSPAWN has the nastiest Salmon Snatch I have ever sniffed. 200 gallons of bleach and perfume could not get that to smell halfway decent. Has she ever though about cleaning it out every 3000 miles?? My god-what a nasty ho.

by J.R. Cahoon June 28, 2004

Salmon Run

A shot of tequila, immediately followed by a double-shot of V8 juice, followed by a small glass of orange juice. Drink in rapid succession.

When you do a salmon run, the V8 and orange juice mask the unpleasant aftertaste of the tequila.

by big_fisch July 13, 2011

awkward salmon

Originated in the Hudson Valley, New York.

The akward salmon is another member of the awkward animal clan. It is probably one of the funniest ones out there.

During an akward silence, it works just like the awkward turtle to relieve tension.

You put one hand flat and then slap the other hand onto the flat one alternating back-front-back-front etc, to look like a fish slapping on the floor of a boat.

The sound is the best part.

So...last night I walked into my grandma and grandpa gettin' frisky.

...silence...

Uhh....AWKWARD SALMON *slapslapslapslapslapslap*

by The Awkward Expert December 18, 2007

simon mitchell

The perfect from the band Young Guns.

Fangirl: have you seen simon mitchell?
Fangirl 2: i heard he was fucking some girl in the van!

by imnotstupidyaknow May 24, 2011

Simon Pitman

A big guy with a small doink. He thinks he is so cool and he tries roasting people but they all suck. He tends to date girls that are at least 5+ years older than him and they all live across the country. He is incapable of dating people in his own state. Every time he gets a paper cut or stubs his toe he gets a cast

you see that guy always faking injuries and dating girls older than him, yeah that's Simon Pitman

by good noodle jesus' November 14, 2017